#I didn’t put my name on it bc it’s just a sketch tbh if it’s stolen whatever just credit me
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Book 7 spoilers under the cut!!
#twisted wonderland#malleus draconia#book 7 spoilers#Do not repost#I didn’t put my name on it bc it’s just a sketch tbh if it’s stolen whatever just credit me#it sounds petty but I’d rather say it than not at all.
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I already watched the fairytale one so now I'm on 4x18 the doppledancer episode. a dance with death.
Wow I swear I've heard that name before Ooh latin dancing! She's dead but like idk.
Oona macaroni? water under the bridge? martha is so pretty
I love pyrotechnics. Love a short 19min window lmao that probably happens on the set of Castle too. Prop open the door so you can smoke. Btw Ryan is pretty af & wearing pink, for a while I thought it was bc he just got married but now I think it just looks good on him so he chooses to wear it. Idk. Ask Luke Reichle.
Lanie my beloved. At least she knows information on her past. Of course that's how it worked. (Here's that scene btw) KB: Hey, Ryan. Can I get a list of all the guests that were invited to tonight’s taping along with anyone that checked in at security? KR: Uh, already on it, but that’s not the only way in here. There’s an exit door to the alley down the hall. The crew guys like to prop it open so they can go out for a smoke. RC: So either our killer got lucky and found an unlocked door… KB: Or this was an inside job. LP: That gets my vote. Odette was a lock to win this thing. I bet it was one of her backstabbing rivals that did this. [The others stare at her.] LP: What? I watch the show. Odette was my favorite contestant. She was an heiress raised by her rich grandpa, a party girl headed down the wrong path, then a brush with death made her wake up and change her bad-girl ways. RC: That’s a great story. LP: Except for the ending. [Lanie indicates the body in front of them.] KR: I gotta say Dr. Parish, I never figured you for a fan of A Night of Dance. ((calls her dr parish rn, love it)) LP: I’m not exactly. It’s just… when I was young, more than anything, I wanted to be a prima ballerina. If I wasn’t dancing, I was thinking about dancing. ((Says the medical examiner working on a homicide)) RC: So what happened? LP: The girls game along when I was thirteen. [Lanie indicates her chest.] ((As a trans person who used to be very physically active but now has huge bazongas, I feel for ya Lanie)) LP: Not that many top-heavy ballerinas out there. [Castle and Ryan nod understandingly.] RC: Well, I think there should be. KB: Of course you do. RC: That’s not what I meant. Although… [Castle turns to Ryan, who nods eagerly in agreement.] ((the thing is, it's easier to dance when you don't have boobs swinging around hitting you in the chin, & then there's the eating disorders & body requirements...))
Man looks good with that shirt mostly open lol Oh esposito, making eyes at a pretty girl Ryan asked the question, she answered to esposito tho! Kinda rude tbh! *The two dancers walk away* KR: Damn. Did you see that? JE: Mm-hmm. :] KR: She acted like I didn’t even exist. JE: You don’t. Not since you put that ring on your finger. *Ryan looks at his hand* Get used to being invisible to single women. oH IS THIS THE EPISODE WHERE ESPOSITO GETS RYAN'S RING STUCK ON HIS FINGER???
Except in dance it changes your body in legitimate irreversible ways. She would have needed to dance since she was a child. Well depending on the kind of dance
This weirdo co-producer judge fellow did it I think.
It was not eddy
I like eddy though
Sketch man has a freckle tho
Ryan ex-drug cop *immediately assumed it is drugs* which to be fair is a good assumption
He does not match the sketch but he kind of matches the sketch. Generic white guy with dark hair I mean yeah it was your JOB to be concerned abt her spending
I'm guessing she bought these clothes but doesn't have any in her closet: money laundering
Beckett's smile when castle gives her coffee RC: Sounds to me like the old gas card scam. KB: What do you mean? RC: Your parents put you on a strict allowance, but they give you a gas card so you can fill your car. Well, you fill your friends’ cars, and they give you cash. *Esposito listens* Some of my buddies in boarding school nearly doubled their allowance. KB: Uh-huh. RC: Not me, of course. [Beckett gives Castle a knowing look.] RC: That… [Esposito gives Castle a knowing look, too.] RC: Don’t tell my mother. ((GIRL YOU ARE AN ADULT & YOU ARE THE ONE LETTING HER LIVE IN YOUR HOUSE)) Except why would she need to buy clothes for her friends? She doesn't have a strict allowance in that way does she? Maybe it was to make it look like she is not getting cash? Ah she has a monthly cash stipend
I'm so used to people saying yasmine when it is spelled jasmine. *find the recording immediately* See? This is why you never make death threats
Like me doing my testosterone shots KB: Who’s Brian Dunkleman? ((Transcript has link to wikipedia))
Why would you assume speed of all things? Some kinds of speed don't really work injected. That's a nice bottle tho, v big, medical grade, she is not using a spoon & a lighter here. My question is: Did you find alcohol wipes, a sharps bin, extra needle tips, or anything like that?
Oona Marconi lmao. She looks good tho. Milf af. Captions said olivier, she said olivia or maybe olivié which would make sense Oh she is happy for her & her acting studio! Years & years? Don't call her old now b'y that was ages ago oona shush Laugh it off martha laugh it off Alexis there with the knife in the pie Me, planning on becoming a culinary teacher: Rude. Though accurate, I don't like line cooking & early mornings & late nights. Those who can't hack it, find better ways of hacking it, like teaching because we get regular hours RC: Could’ve been worse. *Cut to castle with beckett* RC: It couldn’t have been worse. My mother exposed her gooey center, and Oona Marconi drove a stake through it.
Diabulemia? Or maybe not... that's not how it works
Officially she was dead... "Or did she?" Secret twins? Castle all literary lol
btw there is a deleted scene here Minyard twins No idiot it was a crime of opportunity. But lol crazy wiccan powers would be funny ok but they never ran in the same circles but OG odette was a rich girl & then a party animal so you never know
The parent trap was great! They probably have similar ancestry though, it would have been better if they were distant cousins who didn't know they were related but both had ukrainian ancestry & possibly a relative in common. Could have explained it away as trauma from the crash.
RC: Well, that sounds like something better done one-on-one, mano a mano. Meantime, I want to take a ride downtown with the boys, [starting to stand up] check out that strip club. KR: Sorry, Castle. [Ryan pushes Castle back down into his chair.] KR: Three’s a crowd. [pats castle on the shoulder] [Castle and Beckett are stunned as Ryan and Esposito walk to the elevator.] JE: What’s up? Why you freezing out our boy like that? ((our boy)) KR: I want to try an experiment. Having Castle along would mess things up. [Ryan pushes the down button and clears his throat.] KR: Here. [Ryan takes off his wedding ring and holds it out to Esposito.] ((it's a really nice ring, I'd like to see a high quality pic of it.)) KR: Wear my wedding ring. ((gay lmao)) JE: What? [looks around at any other cops bc ryan is presenting a ring to esposito & the only thing missing is one knee] Get that thing away from me, man. It’s a mood killer. KR: Just wear it when we’re at the club. JE: What for? KR: See, I’ve been talking to all my married guy friends, ((I wish we knew more about their friends outside of work)) they say that your theory is way off. [gesturing with the ring] Wearing a wedding ring gets them more attention from women, not less. JE: So…? KR: So wear the ring. [shoves it in esposito's face. Esposito leans back away from it. The elevator dings & a cop sees ryan "proposing" to esposito but just kind of shakes his head & walks away.] I want to see if women still flirt with you and ignore me. [They enter the elevator.] ((btw espt's jacket is nice & has a grey-on-grey pattern on it.)) JE: So you didn’t’ want Castle to come because… Both: All the women would flirt with him. [holds it up again as the elevator starts to move] KR: I want to know if it’s just the ring that’s repelling members of the fairer sex. JE: It’s not the ring, bro. It’s you. [ryan lowers the ring, watching esposito] See, once you’ve been married for a little while and you’re feeling a little bored and unsatisfied, [ryan nods along] the ring will get you love from the ladies. They’ll want to take you away from all that so that you can be bore and unsatisfied with them. KR, still facing esposito but not looking at his face: Why not now? JE: (chuckle) Because now you’re all blissfully happy with your wife and whatnot. [ryan nods] You have the stink of honeymoon phase all over you. No woman wants to be around that. [esposito looks ryan down & up & shakes his head slightly as if he too doesn't want to be around that & turns to look away from him] KR: How long does it last? ((Why are YOU the MARRIED one asking HIM the Very Single one abt this?)) JE: Well, it’s hard to say. [taking the ring from the top] But knowing you and Jenny, [putting it on explicitly in ryan's view, but probs for the camera tbh] probably forever. [Esposito needs to kind of push Ryan’s ring on over the knuckle. Esposito cringes at it. Ryan, still facing where esposito was standing a second ago, moves his mouth to start a sentence but doesn't say anything, then follows Espt out the elevator]
She is talking to ryan this time at least, talking to both of them. Ryan has his ringless left hand up by his chin & he frequently gestures. Remember someone paid for a nose job? hm? Esposito unfolds the sketch & hands it to her with his ringed hand
Shantell: He lived over in alphabet city. He was always running some scam, borrowing money from Barbra for some new business venture and never paying her back. But she loved him. Crazy love, you know? JE: Oh, yeah. I do. [Esposito shows her Ryan's ring on his hand.] Stl: Hm. JE: Well, you’ve been very helpful, Shantell. Thank you for your time. Stl: (to Esposito) If you wanted, you could come back later. My show starts at eight. JE: I could probably do that— KR: He’s gotta get home to the little woman, [espt flounders a bit in the background] Shantell, but we do thank you for your time and your cooperation. Stl: All right. [Shantell leaves and Ryan and Esposito head for the exit.] JE: What’s wrong with you, man? Why you gotta throw salt in my game like that? KR: You can’t pick up on honeys while wearing the eternal symbol of my love and commitment to Jenny. [Ryan stops & puts a hand out, stopping Esposito too.] KR: Did I just say that out loud? JE: Mm-hmm. KR: No wonder women won’t flirt with me. I’m a lost cause, a man in love with his wife. JE, putting his hand on Ryan's shoulder: Enjoy it, my friend. A lot of men would switch places with you. [ryan riases his eyebrows & looks at espt] Not me. Mnh-Mnh. Other men. Guys. [ryan nods with squinty sus eyes] Unhappy single guys. KR: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just give me my ring back, and you can go get Shantell’s phone number. [Esposito smiles & tries to take it off, but the ring is stuck.] JE: What the… ow. KR: What? JE: (pants) It’s stuck. KR:
Castle is sitting in the desk across from beckett today. lmao alliteration Like that time you stole a police horse while naked?
lmao faux-dette, perfect name "all of barbara" Understudy to leading lady, wow he really is martha's son
Caskett are such a good team in this interrogation here I love it So fauxdette wasn't killed for being barbara she was killed for being odette probably SEE? Barbara HAD been dancnig since she was a kid!
THE BUTLER DID IT!
[Castle rubs soap on the Esposito’s hand and Esposito tries to pry off Ryan’s wedding ring.] JE: It’s not coming off. It’s like it soldered itself onto my hand. RC: Maybe it’s possessed, you know, like some kind of cursed object from a Stephen King story. KR: How can I tell my wife that I’m not wearing my wedding ring because I lent it to Esposito as an experiment to see if strippers would flirt with me? [casle looks blankly afraid & esposito cringes] Maybe she’ll see the humor in it. ((XD)) [Castle and Esposito exchange a look.] RC: Not a chance. JE: You’re a dead man.
ALEXIS MY BELOVED Dad! Work! Boundaries! *Lanie hits alexis with the file in pride*
Poor Martha : ( Ooh man has a croissant Castle & his silly accent
True, there is a professional relationship that has boundaries between like friendships & employ. He's all sus acting like he can solve the murder. How do you know that? (Man must sleep on his back or front, you can't be on your side w/o a pillow, I personally need three things. One under my head, one under my waist to keep my back straight, & one between my knees to keep my hips & therefore back straight.) Oh, aha, he really is smart! They really left a pillow? & nobody looked into the murder? The poor man looks so afraid & sad.
Do they know it's you-know-who yet? Oh yes they do lol Why would you just throw the gun in the trash? & leave the silencer on? Those things are pricey. You should have, idk, dug a hole in the ground (concrete?) & buried it. I mean yeah that sounds even to me. Pretending to be someone else & having killed someone else... yeah that sounds even enough except you already killed someone so who cares?
True. Broken dreams does not mean your life is crap. Lanie the dancer became Dr Parish, I had wanted to be in a band or smth or do a million other things & I'm looking to become a culinary teacher...
Beckett was in a prelaw course but that's boring af, she could have done anything, she could have been a lawyer doctor cop or teacher, or she could have become an astronaut a chef (her hours prove it) a film director a volunteer manager a politician a carpenter an electrician a baker... then again I listed a bunch of trades which are not befitting of a girl like her.
[40:30, INT. PRECINCT, BULLPEN - NIGHT] [Esposito grunts as he attempts to pull off Ryan’s wedding ring.] JE: Ah, it won’t— Yeah, you know what? [Esposito checks his watch.] JE: Ooh, I’m late for my stripper date, man. ((meaning ryan let him "pick up honeys" without taking off his ring)) [Esposito gives up and starts to leave.] KR: Whoa, whoa. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I cannot go home again without that ring on my finger tonight. My couch has a loose spring. My back-- ((lmao I love how Jenny made him sleep on the couch. I hope he said he let esposito try it on & did NOT say it was to see if strippers would flirt with him)) KB: Hey, did you try soap? JE: Yeah. KR: Yeah, that was, like, the first thing we did. RC: Cooking spray? JE: I didn’t think about cooking spray. KR: Where am I gonna find cooking spray? KB: Here. [Beckett takes out her lotion and puts some on Esposito’s finger. Esposito rubs the lotion in around the ring.] JE: It’s like silk. That might work. Oh, yeah. I think it’s coming. ((Why are you pushing the ring off instead of pulling tho? That's why it does what it does)) KR: Yeah? [Esposito grunts as the ring audibly (lovely fake sound) pops off and bounces across the room. Caskett look at him. Esposito cringes. Ryan looks at him] ((Makes me think tho, how did the actors play this? Is it like Mime? Or was the ring actually just slightly the wrong size?)) JE: At least it’s off my finger. [Esposito leaves & then starts running away just in case and Ryan rushes to find the ring.]
"Inches" of column space that you should let me know (not whore him out) RC: “Be kind.” For you, Mother… I can be kind. HE REALLY DOES LOVE HIS MOM. (This is how I feel about sweeping at work. "For you [only my second real job & low on the totem pole]... I can sweep the floor." I really really genuinely hate sweeping, it is embarrassing & I'm slow & bad at it & how can you be bad at sweeping but I AM & it's awkward to hold & there are people in the way & it reminds me of hockey which I dislike... ugh I hate sweeping so much)
anyway I love that sweet sweet ending of love
& as always, thank you https://scriptline.livejournal.com/63245.html live journal transcript for being here
#castle 4x18#castle 4x18 quote#castle 4x18 spoilers#the doppledancer episode#he got the wedding ring stuck
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laszlo kreizler nsfw alphabet
so yeah this... Happened. the zemo version is coming soon, stay tuned! (probably tomorrow morning bc a bitch is tired lmao)
(gif credit to @lindir)
A = Aftercare.
Laszlo is such an aftercare king. He’s checking on you in every way he can think of: asking you if you feel alright, maybe massaging your hips if he had you in a weird position, offering you dinner or wine, maybe even a hot bath, if you’d like (and the bath would have special perfumed oils he had sent from Paris because Laszlo is SUCH a self care whore, he’s got soaps and perfumes out the wazoo).
B = Body Part.
His favorite part of yours are your breasts. No questions, hands down. He likes using your breasts as a pillow at night— just settling himself between your legs and resting his head on your tits is a dream he indulges in frequently. He also really loves seeing you in the new French-style of dresses that have a lower neckline, and, if you wear one of those dresses to dinner without telling him beforehand, he’s as good as gone. He’s staring the whole time and can only manage simple sentences.
C = Cum.
I think Laszlo likes to cum inside you, but he also wouldn’t mind cumming on your tits. If you’re on your knees, sucking him off, he’ll pull himself out of your mouth and almost rip your blouse in his haste to set your tits free before his orgasm rips through him. He only chooses to cum inside you if he can’t cum on your tits (for example, if you’re having slow, kissy sex and he can’t bear to leave your wet heat).
D = Dirty Secret.
Laszlo. Loves. To. Be. Degraded. From a psychological standpoint, he understands that his desire to be brought down and ridiculed is born from some sort of childhood trauma that DEFINITELY involves his father, but he just can’t help himself from getting so ridiculously turned on when you call him a dog for humping your leg while you try to sleep. Bonus points if you use his title while you do it: “Just like a little bitch in heat, aren’t you, Doctor Kreizler? You’re so aroused, you can hardly handle yourself. Are you too dumb to touch your own cock? Do you need me to do it? Oh, Doctor, what a dumb little thing you are.”
E = Experience.
Even Daniel himself has said that Laszlo has like NO experience. Laszlo got ZERO bitches (which I find hard to believe but ok whatever you say, writers of The Alienist), so, the first time y’all have sex, he’s more likely than not losing his virginity (let’s not get into the debate of “virginity is a social construct” because a.) IT IS and b.) Laszlo would lecture for hours about this). HOWEVER, these things come naturally to him. He is just Good In Bed. He figures it out very quickly, so, while you make fun of him for going a little stupid when he’s aroused, he makes up for it by bruising your cervix and apologizing later.
F = Favourite Positions.
Laszlo loves that soft, slow, kissy sex, so he’s into whatever position makes it possible for him to be inside you and to kiss you at the same time. Missionary is a go to, but sometimes he’ll have you sit on his desk and kiss your neck as he hikes your skirts up and fucks you all slow and nice.
G = Goofy.
Hardly ever? Laszlo is pretty serious most of the time, and the only time we ever see him Not Serious in the show is when he’s wasted after John’s bachelor party in season 2. So, maybe y’all went to dinner at Delmonico’s, then a ball for members of high society, and he had a little too much champagne and schnapps. He’s not like giggling and all, but his cheeks are red and he’s smiling more than usual, and calling you sweet names “Oh, mein Kätzchen” and “Meine kleine Prinzessin”. That’s Laszlo’s version of goofy.
H = Hair.
OK, my train of thought here is: LOOK AT THIS MAN’S BEARD. HIS BEARD IS NICE AS SHIT. If he treats his facial hair that good— regular trims, the beard oils we all know he uses, even if it isn't strictly canon— then his downstairs hair is nice too. Definitely soft, if maybe a little wiry sometimes (but tbh whose isn’t), and it’s a nice little cropping at the base of his cock. He also has a thin happy trail up his soft tummy, and a good amount on his chest (as we see in the show lol that much is canon).
I = Intimacy.
Laszlo is ALL ABOUT intimacy. You’ll know he’s in a ~mood~ because you’ll ask what’s being served at Delmonico’s that night, and Laszlo is like “I thought we might stay in tonight. John gave me his grandmother’s recipe for chicken soup”. He’ll light candles and pour you wine and play nice music on his gramophone, and he’ll romance you throughout dinner with little hand touches and sly smiles, until he’s kneeling in front of you and slowly kissing up your leg.
J = Jack-Off.
Honestly, he hardly does it. Of course, I’m sure he did it A LOT before he met you, but now he doesn’t need to pleasure himself anymore. He’s got you to do that. The only exception is if he has to travel for work and you can’t go with him. Even then, he’ll hold off until he absolutely can’t stand it, and then he’ll like read a letter you sent him or look at a sketch that John did of you while he whacks off; sometimes, he’ll just hold your letter to his face, and the faint trace of your perfume is enough to do the job.
K = Kink.
He likes impact play a lot (and perhaps a little roleplay wrapped up in it). On the rare occasion that his fucking is anything but soft and lovely, he’s gonna be hitting your ass and the backs of your thighs as you cling to him while he rails you stupid. Laszlo would try to hit your cheek, but he feels too bad when you wince at the pain of it. Spanking your tits is good to him too. His favorite though (and here’s where the roleplay comes in), is caning your ass. He’ll bend you over the desk in his home office and pull your skirts up past your hips, and he’ll make you count the amount of times his thick wooden cane connects with your soft asscheeks. The roleplay is, more often than not, you were his assistant who did something wrong and needed to be punished. If you miss one or forget to thank him accordingly “Thank you, sir”, he’ll focus the next hit on your thighs.
L = Location.
Either the bed or his desk. Laszlo is a little older (I don’t think we ever get an explicit age? But if we say he’s the same age as Daniel, then he’s 40 to 42-ish) so he can’t do it against a wall or anywhere too crazy (not to mention his right arm can hardly support much weight, so if he needs to hold you up, it’s probably not gonna happen). The bed is a special time for you two because of his arm; he’ll hold himself up with his left arm and rest his hand on your hip or wherever to give himself at least a little leverage. But the desk is usually easier because you can sit, or you can bend over and he can grab your hip.
M = Motivation.
He loves you and wants to worship you. It’s truly as simple as that. He loves you and thinks that you’re the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen, and he wants to show his reverence for you by making love to you.
N = No.
He can’t get into the role of “daddy”, nor can he call you “mommy”. Childhood trauma aside, he will be goddamned if Sigmund fucking Freud is correct about his bullshit Oedipus complex or whatever, so he just eliminates that whole thing entirely.
O = Oral.
He’s very good at it. He’s just… His lips are soft and his beard is good, and he’s not afraid to get a little messy with it. He’ll eat you out until he absolutely has to come up for air, and he’ll have a little bit of your wetness clinging to his mustache, but then he’s right back in it. His medical degree is also put to good use here because he remembers his female anatomy and he’s locked onto your clit the entire time. The first time you ever squirted, it was because Laszlo was nipping at your clit and sucking your wet little hole and pressing his thick fingers into you, and it was A Lot To Process, but you squirted and Laszlo came in his pants instantly because he’s like “I didn’t think women could actually do that… I thought that was a thing that penny novels made up”
P = Pace.
Again, he’s a little older, so he doesn’t fuck like some wild boy. He takes his time with you, touching you and caressing you and kissing you, and his pace is the same way. He’s slow and gentle, but has the capacity to go faster and harder if you ask for it.
Q = Quickie.
Hates them. Never. Never ever ever. If he can’t properly romance you and take his time with you, then what’s the point??
R = Risk.
Surprisingly, Laszlo is a little schemer, and he loves running a risk. He’s already looked down upon by other society members, so what’s the harm in squeezing your ass at a party? PERHAPS it’s inappropriate to get caught in a dark corner with your hand down his trousers and him kissing your neck, but it’s easy to blame it on the alcohol.
S = Stamina.
Once more, he is firmly middle aged, so he can do one round— maybe two, if he’s feeling particularly frisky. Usually, though, one is more than enough for both of you.
T = Toy.
HAVE YALL SEEN SEX TOYS FROM THE 1890S?? SHITS ARE SCARY. Laszlo does not like toys, but he understands their need for existing, so he may not like them but he tolerates them. That being said, he likes to watch you use them. LIke, he’ll sit in a chair by the bed and request you “put on a good show”, and he’ll watch you fall apart, and he’ll only come and touch you if you beg and plead for him to.
U = Unfair.
Mhm, so, in Laszlo’s mind, sex and pleasure are not just a give and take, it’s a two way street. They can (and often need to) coexist. He doesn’t like to initiate something if you won’t be able to reciprocate, so he’s not too into teasing or things. At the aforementioned parties, he’ll only goose your ass if he knows you’re 100% down for it.
V = Volume.
He’s fairly quiet. His mouth is usually really close to your ear, and you’re the only one who gets to hear his pretty little noises. The loudest he’ll be is when he’s come home after traveling and it’s felt like ages since he’s made love to you, he’s gonna come inside you, and his little gasp and moan are louder than usual.
W = Wild Card.
He is down to be tied up. He doesn’t like to tie you up, but if he’s the one being restrained, he’s all over it. It’s nothing too intense, just using a ribbon for your hair to tie his left hand to the headboard, not super tight but enough to make his fingers a little tingly, but he loves it. He loves the switch of the dynamic, how he’s fully at your mercy and you can use him however you please; usually, you just suck him off and ride him, but the endless possibilities get him hard as soon as you pull out the ribbon.
X = X-Ray.
Laszlo has Big Dick Energy, so he has to have a big dick. The best example of this sort of energy is in the very first episode after he goes and interviews Wolf, and comes to speak to Teddy, and Teddy is like “you interviewed the suspect? On whose authority??” and laszlo is like “Mine” like OH HIS DICK IS BIG I KNOW IT. He’s got an above average length and girth, but we know our man likes to eat, so some of his weight goes to his dick, so it’s like,,, He’s got a fat cock, sorry, I don’t make the rules
Y = Yearning.
Constantly. Neverending. He’s at work and he’ll catch a glimpse of a pastel drawing that you commissioned from John for Laszlo’s birthday that sits in a frame on his desk, and his heart starts to hurt from missing you. When he comes home, he’ll embrace you and kiss you like he hasn’t seen you in years, and he’ll want to hear all about your day. You have your doctor so whipped for you, and it’s a different kind of whipped than being pussy whipped. He’s, like, feelings whipped.
Z = ZZZ.
He’s a sleepy little baby after you guys finish. His eyes will be a little heavy and sticky as he’s cleaning up and caring for you (and you definitely coo at him “Oh, Las, you’re so sleepy!”) but when you’re both back in bed, our little man is circling his arm around your waist and nuzzling his cheek into your shoulder. He’s so soft and affectionate, and he’s out like a light when you kiss his forehead and tell him you love him.
#laszlo kreizler#the alienist#laszlo kreizler smut#daniel bruhl x reader#daniel bruhl smut#daniel brühl x reader#daniel brühl smut#laszlo kreizler x reader#daniel bruhl#daniel brühl
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time for another extremely niche post aka my current hyperfixation as a crossover with my previous hyperfixation! anyway here’s who i would cast each of the actors from KITH as in a hypothetical production of TGWDLM:
paul matthews: dave foley. tbh this one i almost can’t explain but the vibes are just so strong in this casting. like just judging from the types of characters dave plays on KITH he could definitely pull off the “increasingly confused average dude just trying his best” role (best example: first chicken lady sketch), and also judging from the amount of characters dave has played that are like “murder!!!!” he would do great with the last few scenes. hell even look at his range in the “treatment” sketch bc that’s basically the let it out scene. wait actually this is perfect someone get me a time machine so i can see 90s dave foley in tgwdlm
ted spankoffski: bruce mcculloch. this one isn’t as complicated, i just think that ted is literally the same character as cabbage head. genuinely wouldn’t be surprised if the performance was slightly based on him tbh
bill woodward: kevin mcdonald. again idk how to explain it but he could absolutely pull off bill’s panicked dad energy
professor hidgens: mark mckinney. tbh i didn’t make this connection at first (i was literally about to press post with scott and mark’s roles switched) but then i was like hold on mark could absolutely pull off this reclusive-mentor-slowly-revealed-to-be-batshit-crazy vibe.
mr. davidson/sam/general macnamara: as i said before i was so close to putting scott as hidgens but then i realized no no no that’s thinking small. i could literally name mouth congress songs that correspond strangely accurately to each of the songs in this track, and oh my god imagining the what do you want paul scene from this hypothetical production would make me lose my shit. alternate universe 90s canadian production of tgwdlm >>>>
#if people are interested i'll cast the female roles too bc gender is a social construct but there's only 3 of them and none fit the vibe#maybe kevin as emma? and bruce as charlotte since charlotte is basically kathy?#idk#i've been out of my hatchetfield hyperfixation for a while but i still enjoy vibe checking everyone i know in a fake casting#kids in the hall#KITH#the guy who didn't like musicals#tgwdlm#starkid#paul matthews#dave foley#ted spankoffski#bruce mcculloch#i'm not gonna tag everyone bc that would be boring and again this post is for me lmao
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Here is what the kids call my highly disorganized, half-baked list of stuff that could have been done with Jack to make him a better character.
@yeetmetothehell I am sorry if you are disappointed by my ideas.
“Optimus was more like...Jack.” OK…so show us that.
In my opinion...Jack seems like he was intended to be written to be almost a parallel to Orion’s journey to becoming Optimus Prime, at least how he is used in the plot. Jack is described as “smart and responsible”, which can also be read as “hardworking and responsible” and really this can be achieved in narratively using a few points, IMO:
Long hours in his room/the library studying outside of work and school.
Filling out the background of the garage more with sketches/print outs of motorcycle blueprints (to keep the idea that Jack really wants a motorcycle and show hints of extreme dedication, but they’re kept in the garage rather than his room to metaphorically show that distance he’s put between himself and what he wants)
“Man of the House”/”Grew up too fast” (This will be discussed more later but TL;DR “I’ll handle the electric bill this month, Mom”)
Somewhat fragile work/school/life balance that Jack somehow perfectly maintained before meeting the team
Orion was very physically passive. Jack seems to be intended to be written as passive but it comes off as an apathetic reluctance that Orion doesn’t possess (Orion may not believe in violence but he clearly wasn’t unwilling to communicate his thoughts; it’s how he got the title of Prime in the first place.) However, Orion had to learn to become more outspoken over time probably, so we can keep him as being aloof/reluctant at the start of the series.
“Man of the House”/”Grew up too Fast”
It’s no secret Jack came from a nonconventional home; June is very explicitly portrayed as a single mother with a dad nowhere in the picture. However the situation surrounding Mr. Darby is unknown. The way June talks about it makes me personally feel like Jack’s dad either ran out or divorced June and doesn’t bother with his kid. Dysfunction in the family really just goddamn changes you TBH. (can confirm bc hi, I come from a dysfunctional home) Sometimes you just grow up super fast. Jack probably spent his childhood missing his mom as she worked shifts at the hospital and seeing how lonely and hurt she was. He maybe went out and got a job the first day he could and helps with smaller bills (“I’ll handle the electric bill this month.”), or maybe other expenses like groceries and his own phone bill. June probably makes enough to comfortably support her and her son, especially given her job and the cost of living in rural ass desert Nevada. But Jack still does this anyways--it’s how he copes with his issues after what happened with his dad. Doubling down and trying to be what he thinks is the bigger man because his dad couldn’t be fucked.
This would make the disruption him letting the bots into his life creates more staggering; June doesn’t expect her son to pay bills, but the sudden change in behavior (skipping out on work) would be a cause for concern because sudden shifts like that are Usually Signs that Something is Very Wrong. Especially because Jack is usually responsible and open with his mom; he would have told her if he was gonna cut hours at work, theoretically.
Jack feels like he has to constantly put his own wants aside to contribute to his household. Even if June doesn’t force this expectation upon him, it’s a feeling that he will have, especially if he watched his dad just abandon him and June. Maybe he has resentment towards his dad for this and that is causing some anger he’s keeping tightly under wraps? And maybe the bots give him an excuse to do something he actually wants to do for once or some excitement in his life and that’s why he goes along with it? Lots of options, people!
Clothing Choices: The Hoodie™
You are going to have to deal with me being a whore for costuming choices and what they can mean. The show has a problem with the humans wearing the same shit every time they’re on screen and I’d love to rant about all of them (yeah yeah I get it saving money) but I’m focusing on Jack right now. Give Jack a hoodie 2020. A grey one or some other dull and drab color. And make him actually always wear the hood (except like in scenes where he is working bc workplace dress codes obviously) As time progresses, the drab hoodie is changed to a more vibrant color, but he still always has the hood over his head. And then, at a pivotal moment, the boy takes the hood off. (You could even throw in Miko cracking a joke about Jack actually having hair if you really wanted TBH.) Why this? The narrative is that Jack is constantly holding himself under wraps because of his self-imposed responsibilities. As he starts to become more into his own, he decides to express himself more with brighter colors, but still has some reservations. When he takes the hoodie off, that’s when he’s fully realized himself in this process and thus completes the parallel.
Actually make him interact with Optimus in a meaningful manner.
Arcee can still be his guardian in the field and I think working on strengthening their relationship is vital. But also, if you’re gonna make Jack the confidante holding the key to Vector Sigma, there actually has to be...meaningful interaction. Optimus asking Jack what he’s so engrossed in reading and Jack explaining the book he’s got with passion before shutting himself up and saying “it’s kinda dumb though” or something. And Optimus just responds “I don’t think it’s dumb, tell me more.” Coaxing him towards more self-discovery and expression. Optimus maybe sees more of his old self in Jack and starts attempting to be a quasi-paternal figure without really thinking about it because he is, after all, Dadimus. Jack maybe lashes out about how he doesn’t need Optimus to be his dad and that makes the space between them tense for a while. Eventually Jack comes to apologize and maybe there’s an important Talk.. Just a few ideas I will expand on later. I feel like forgiveness and lack thereof is a good theme--I know I was held back for a long time because of how convoluted the concept of forgiveness is with family.
The Character Arc
So, what would Jack’s character development throughout the events of season 1 be? My basic idea for a Jack arc that mirrors Orion’s self-realization and coming into Prime-hood without being a carbon copy is essentially:
Jack is portrayed as a responsible, hardworking, studious teenager who constantly turns down chances for fun and excitement to handle his responsibilities. Has clear dreams for after high school and for his own personal life; but he’s constantly contemplating and changing his mind about whether he will or not because he’s extremely dedicated to helping his mom and all that. However, he still gets super curious about Arcee and gets swept up by her in the Vehicon chase, and he still has whispers of courage and protects Raf during the altercation. He first tries to ditch Team Prime because he’s concerned about his responsibilities, but eventually returns because he’s drawn to the opportunity to finally go buck wild for once in his life (even if he spends his time being hesitant about everything.) His hesitancy and dedication to severe self-imposed responsibility is a result of his inability to move on from what his dad did to him and his mom; he’s under the impression that he 1) Has to forgive someone to move on, and thus 2) He cannot move on because his dad isn’t there to bother to say sorry and take on his position as Dad. In essence, he becomes less the character telling Miko to stop and more the character being pushed by Miko to be more adventurous. In lulls in action, Optimus starts to take interest in him when he notices his constant hesitance to express himself and is just being dragged along rather than going willingly. Has a conversation with him about a book Jack’s reading, which Jack attempts to shut down because it’s “dumb and childish,” but Optimus urges him to continue. The idea that June knows about Arcee as a bike and Jack explaining that he bought a motorcycle as a fixer-upper for dirt cheap can stay. (He probably still is saving up for his motorcycle.)
The longest portion, after Optimus starts interacting with Jack on a level of bonding and gently coaxing him to be himself— Jack becomes more outspoken and he’s shown as curious, analytical, quick witted, and has a deep sense of justice. Being young and craving a childhood lost to his trauma and self-imposed obligations to help his mom with running the household, he suddenly starts spending more time at the base pursuing hobbies and going on missions rather than studying and work, which concerns June. She tries to press Jack, and is met with what can be described as typical teenage headbutting that gets progressively worse. She grounds Jack after the fight, MECH takes her, the rescue happens. (That makes sense to stay in this narrative IMO.) Around this time, Optimus has effectively started becoming Jack’s own Alpha Trion—teaching him things that he’s picked up that he may feel apply to Jack. Jack interprets one of these lessons as Optimus trying to be “dad” and he’s not having it. Makes it VERY clear that he does not need a dad (“didn’t need one before and sure as fuck don’t need one now”) and definitely snaps at Optimus, which then pushes his progress in the arc closer to the end. He eventually comes back to apologize, and Optimus forgives him. He and Optimus have a heart-to-heart about one of the hardest lessons Optimus has had to learn—how to let go of the past without forgiving those who have hurt you and refuse to make amends, so that you may determine your own future. It’s very clear he’s talking about Megatron, even though he never says his name. Jack takes this lesson to heart.
His final bit of development before the hood removal thing probably happens during the events of “Rock Bottom” and reinforces that hard lesson, right when he’s faced with the option to off Megatron. Maybe there’s some taunting about how Optimus preaches softness and forgiveness too much when Jack refuses to kill him. Jack gets angry, and he’s about to fucking do it. But then he stops, takes a breath, and says “Optimus doesn’t preach forgiveness, he preaches moving on from those who refuse to move on themselves. He will never forgive you, but he’s learned to live on despite what you’ve done.” Soon after this, when Megatron comes to the base, Jack takes off his hood, stares Megatron right in the face, and says “This is not forgiveness, Megatron. Don’t you forget that.” Later, when Optimus gives him the key, he tells him something along the lines of “you have grown since we’ve met, Jack, and even though there is still a long way for you to go...” he hands Jack the key. “...Remember that even I am a work in progress.”
Anyways this is again, half-baked. And needs lots of polishing. But it’s something.
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All asks
Holy shit, this will be so much fun B-) *cracks knuckles*
Ask me: FANDOM EDITION
A - Your current OTP
Uhhh pff,,, skeleton dance I think?? I mean sure, skelley dance is always my current OTP, ngl. They're basically made for eachother, hell, even craig himself wore tshirts and stuff with wander hugging hater ifthisisn'tcannonthenidkwhatitis
B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind
To be honest,, wander x beza. I used to dislike every wander x girl ship bcs I see him as gae and nothing else. But I have a friend who does lots of art with them so I think it grew on me more and more with time?? Now I think they would look cute together, even if i'm still not super big on it.
C - A pairing you have never liked and probably never will
Wnder x domi. No comment, I despise it with all my heart 😂😂 Like I said earlier, I don't like most of wander x girl ships, and domi really hates wander. Sooo this ship simply doesn't make sense to me,, lmfao.
D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t
I think Twi x Flash from mlp. Yeah, I thought twi was cute when crushing on him in the 1st EG movie but they don't seem to have that chemistry I was hoping for. Plus I haven't seen any recent episodes of mlp in a long time, though I heard ppl say that he was mean to her once, if I remember well? Anyways, doesn't work so much for me.
E - Have you added anything stupid/cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what
Besides memes/ shitposts, not really. Check @gunxball if you want to see posts of mine back when I was into gumball 2 yrs ago (golly i miss those times)
F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom
Probably su (2016-2019) or kid vs kat (2011-2014)
G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it
Why yes, of course I do. cosmo x wanda from fop. They were so adorbs together esp in the first 2 seasons. Don't like how they got so flanderized with time, their dynamic was absolutely destroyed, and my day was ruined when I found out.
H - Do you prefer characters from real action series or anime series
I don't watch either lolol
But I think anime.
I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why
Dislike the fandom, not the show itself? Probably hzbin hotel. The show has a pretty neat concept and animation and it had such a big impact on my artstyle when I first watched it. But the fandom? Absolute hell. (pun intended)
From shipping wars, to pestering vivz, anything is possible. Glad I haven't actually interacted with that part of the fandom.
J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr
Not a show but among us. Back in september/october last year, my tl was FILLED with among us, up and down. Made me a lil tired of it but once I tried playing that game, I couldn't stop. Also the owlhouse, fell in love with the artstyle and story.
K - How do you feel about the other people in your current fandom
I don't have a current fandom. Not feeling in the mood + school + inactivity bcs of school. So I'll say abt my latest fandom, which was animaney. Well, people were really nice, and they seemed to enjoy the reboot. Nothing more to say tbh,,
L - Your favorite fanartist/author gives you one request, what do you ask for
Ummm I don't really like giving rqs to my fave artists, i don't wanna bother them haha
M - Your favorite fanart or fanartist
I don't know aaaa, prolly toonipi but she also draws ocs, not just fanart.
N - Your favorite fanfiction or fanauthor
Anything cute or sappy with skelleydance (NO nsfw)
O - Choose a song at random, which OTP does it remind you of
Lasers and feelings. Skellydance again. It matches sO well-
P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)
I used to have a skatepark AU ft. su chars but never put anything over here. I still have the sketches from 9th grade lmao.
Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why
To be completely honest, Amydot. Up until s3 they really gave me possible ship vibes. They interacted a lot, and peri discovered her metal powers thanks to amy. But after s3 they hardly ever interacted anymore (besides that one ep from s5 with the kindergarden). I was so dissapointed, but hey lapdot isn't so bad anyway, right?
R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships
Back in 2014 I would have said chred from angry birds, definitely. Not many really shipped them, and when I saw some fanart of them on dA everyone would say "ew, gae". Well, 2014 everyone. I was always like "so?? i like that ship, what's the problem??"
S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon
Uhmm, i headcanon darwin from tawog that he likes to yodel lol
T - If you mostly have homoships, do you have any heteroships
I think my ships are 50-50, but here are some examples:
Larsdie
Stevnnie
Blckeye
Fluttrcord
Beeckard
Starc0
Tanyamao
Foxodile
Pennball
Carwin
U - If you mostly have heteroships, do you have any homoships
Same as T. Another examples:
Skelleydance
Wnderingeye
Sylava
Lumty
Rupphre
Pearlmthyst
Badgrmao
Bubbline
Flutterdsh
Patbob
V - Are you one of those fans who can’t watch anything without shipping
Lol no. Tbh, i'm not super big on shipping either. I only slighty like/dislike any ship i listed earlier (with the exception of skelleydance, i'm too in love with that ship)
W - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms
wakko warner (animaney)
wander (woy)
fluttershy (mlp)
amethyst (su)
bubbles (ppg)
X - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms
skelleydance (woy)
lumty (toh)
stevnnie (su)
Y - A fandom you’re in but have no ships from
kid cosmic (or maybe I do ship papa g w/ chuck), animaney, okko, gravity flls
Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go
That one fan made episode from su called the smothering, it was so freaking amazing. It helped a lot in relieveing the pain of that big hiatus from 2017 (which was the biggest one, i literally turned into a skeleton waiting for new eps). Loved peri's needy personality, as well as lappy's playful one. It was so well written, like it could be perfectly fit as a role reversal episode in the main show.
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So this was sent to me by @atiredpan weeks ago when the White Jon conversation was very live and I'm posting it (belatedly) with their blessing (they didn't want to put it up publicly and have it seem like an attack which I really very much appreciate but wouldn't have minded) and I percolated for a few days and then got very busy for a few weeks. Response follows.
So I feel weird about how I'm responding to this stuff, I'm launching rapidly into taking about/explaining my own experience in a way I'm worried maybe comes across as a direct comparison. It kind of feels like I'm talking in a way that's like brushing off your experience and saying OK BUT HERE'S WHY I'M RIGHT and that's not what I'm trying to do, it's just that there's not much I can usefully add to what you've said - you know your experience better than I do, and I'm not gonna go around trying to read into it or reexplain it. So I'm going to talk about where I am/have been coming from, but not with the intention of countering your points, all of which I think really resonate.
First off, the post where I was like "Jon is white and if you disagree you're Wrong" was, unreservedly, just a shitty post and I'm not suprised it upset a lot of people. I'm really very sorry about that, it was thoughtlessly written and pretty stupidly posted.
I totally get that my whiteness has fed into how I hced Jon (and as I think I've said before I saw Jon a certain way well before I engaged with any fanworks, just as you did). There's a lot of reasons I imagined Jon as white from pretty early on, a non-negligible one of which was like...That's Jonny. This is a podcast by Jonny, about a character with the same name and mannerisms as Jonny, and Jonny is extremely white. It would have felt weird, when I was listening to TMA as a Friend Podcast, to stick a brown face onto what at least appeared at the time to basically be a self-insert character of my white friend. Now that's a really personal thing informed less by the story and more by the circumstances under which I've interacted with it, but it certainly laid a baseline. I didn't really have a clear mental picture of Jon (or most of the characters) for a looooooong time (for an artist I'm really not a very visual thinker) but I had a few sort of mental sketches (Jon is short white balding and awkward, Martin is tall biracial and scruffy Basira is fat and somali Melanie is my friend from work etc) which I developed a long time before I encountered fanworks.
I saw the alienation you mentioned and I connected it to class and gender, not race, because I’ve met a lot of cis men, white and otherwise, who interpolate trauma, class insecurity, insecurity about their own abilities, and so on into withdrawal, denial and snappiness. So for me I had an interpretation of that element of his personality which was pretty much race-neutral, and then I had these existing cues leading me to assuming he was white (largely that Jonny is white, but also wee stuff in the story that...it’s not like anything substantial enough to remember, let alone justify, but there were certainly interactions that pinged whiteness for me personally)
There are actually iirc a few throwaway references to Jon being promoted above more qualified candidates throughout (or at least I thought I knew that before s5), but the time I decided I thought White Jon was an obvious conclusion was of course the conversation where Sasha expresses frustration about it. and the context of that conclusion (at least as far as I can see) wasn't "people of colour can only exist in subservient positions/defined by oppression" but was informed by two things that were going on with my life around the time that episode aired
I had been having several conversations with friends of mine (and largely friends of Jonny's) who work in London in the museums/archiving sector and who are the only women of colour in whole departments or even whole museums, and who experience so little career mobility compared to their less-qualified white counterparts (we're talking about women graduating top of their class at Oxbridge with anthropology or library science masters and stellar original research, with a decade or more of impeccable work experience and acting up, being left in internship and low-grade positions, while white men who "fit the culture" but have 0 museums experience sail into upper management positions and then stay there until they retire). So I'd come almost directly from these conversations into what to me sounded like exactly the same gripe in TMA.
I'd been at that point working for about a year and a half on co-coordinating the anti-oppression committee in my workplace, which was a very Good Progressive Activist Charity with Good Lefty Principles, and over the course of experience sharing and discussions both with colleagues of colour and along lines of wealth, disability, class etc, I was very much confronted with the realisation of how much 'being adequately qualified' meant different things for middle-class good-university white men vs much more highly skilled and hardworking women of colour or people of different class and wealth backgrounds. Obviously I'd known that before in principle, but not really having been in Salaried Workplaces (as opposed to like. service and retail hourlies) I hadn’t got so up close and personal with it. So that was also very fresh in my mind, this like...big substantial experience of how Good, Well-Meaning, Caring, Thoughtful, Woke white men just........did not need to think about this. at all. and were startled and discomforted to face it. and that this was also true of most white middle-class women. and these conversations were really carved down the middle between white middle-class European women saying ‘this is such a surprise when we have such an equitable hiring policy and diverse staff, that there’s this gender gap’ and women of colour in the room wearily saying ‘yeah, there’s a gender gap, there’s always a gender gap and it is always a racialised gender gap’ so yeah I was definitely thinking about the intersection between being passed over at work because of gender and because of race.
The point about Tim is interesting because I think for me what’s getting lost is that I don’t think Jon is entitled as like...a Character Trait. He’s not like...Toxic Masculinity Man. He is very anxious about boundaries and about his own capacity to do harm. But it has to be pointed out to him where he’s doing harm. He doesn’t notice where he’s been unfairly advantaged, and that’s to me much more reflective of most people’s relationship to white or male entitlement.
As I say, that exchange with Tim and Sasha cemented the Jon Is White hc in my head specifically because it was so reflective of conversations I had had with women of colour working in similar workplaces, about white men, usually about white men they generally liked or at least didn’t have beef with beyond their unfair advantages.
It seems odd to me to frame ‘bitching about your boss on your friend’s behalf to make her feel better’ as more similar to white entitlement/white privilege than any of that tbh? That’s just...being friends with someone?
Anyway I recognise that it’s not white entitlement to accept a job. Obviously it’s not, it’s just sensible under the circumstances, you get lucky and you grab it. For me my sense of Jon as white-because-of-this is not “he took a job he shouldn’t have taken,” it’s more about his obliviousness to the impact he has on others, and also primarily how people react to him. The interaction between Sasha and Tim is saturated with the of course it would be him I mentioned above, but even before that he walks through the world not expecting to have to think about anything but his conscious decisions, and he’s caught aback when people see him as out of place or as having power above his station.
I think it’s impossible to extricate ‘this is where my head was at’ from that interpretation, and also like obviously my own whiteness is a big factor. And not just my own personal whiteness but the place I grew up (which was 98.3% white) and the world which reflects back whiteness. So this is in no way intended as a bolshy This Is The Correct Headcanon the way my Bad Post was bc examining it I’m like...yeah I mean this is about how I personally interpreted this based on where I was at at the time. But I do feel like there’s some communication gap in what it is about this unqualified promotion thing that pinged me - it’s not that All Bosses Must Be White And All Brown People Must Be Downtrod, it’s something quite specific about the tone and tenor of the interactions around the getting-a-job.
But also? Idk. Kind of unrelatedly, and people obviously should feel free to disagree with me on this, it feels kind of off to frame this as defaulting to a white Jon? I sort of think that my idea of Jon as white is very much not ‘white until proven otherwise’ - part of the reason for my original strident tone was that I felt that I was being expected to drop a headcanon I had for specific reasons and default to the fanon version of Jon without actually having any reason other than ‘this is how the community thinks he should look,’ and without really understanding anything about what that means, and while obviously defaulting to a non-white headcanon isn’t like...entrenched in the way that defaulting to a white headcanon is, it does seem to me like this is perhaps part of why white fans slap brown skin onto a character without thinking into what that means or why they’re doing it.
The thing I’m struggling with as regards my personal headcanon here is that I could decide to only ever draw Jon as Fanon Jon, but it wouldn’t be because I had strong reasons to see him that way, it wouldn’t be the same as why you see Jon as brown, or why I see like...Melanie as Indian, it would literally be Default To Standard in a way it isn’t for you. And I don’t feel that I have Defaulted To Whiteness, or where I have it is for reasons specifically to do with Jon (I visualised Jon as white because I visualised him as Jonny, who is white), not because I think every character is White Until Proven Otherwise. Like, my reasons for understanding Jon as white may be bad reasons, but they are reasons, not post-hoc excuses (I can’t like...prove that. but I know it to be true at least on a conscious level). I didn’t go Oh Jon Is White Because Everyone Is Unless I Have Reason To Think They Aren’t, Hooray, Here Is A Post-Hoc Justification For Why It Isn’t Racist To Think That. So while I am totally on board with the idea that it may be shitty, harmful or poorly thought through to hc Jon as white, I’m not sure I can fully see it in myself as being default. But I do understand that that isn’t necessarily what came across in my original short post.
Honestly, the reason I took issue with Fanon Jon and Fanon Martin in such a bolshy way in the first place was that I didn’t get why these characters were universally seen as Asian and white, respectively, and had such strong and consistent fanon images, when none of the other characters did, and when I was seeing people drawing people like Sasha and Melanie and Tim as white way more when in my mind there was no reason to assume they were white. On an emotional level I guess I think either there’s Fanon As Lore, or there’s no fanon (and I prefer the latter) and my discomfort came from the place that the one character I absolutely saw as coded as white in the core cast had this one really specific Ambiguously Brown Fanon Look (which from what I’d seen at the time didn’t seem to be like...backed with anything or coming from any personal interpretation for most of the white fans I was seeing on like Twitter and Tumblr) but white headcanons are everywhere for characters like Melanie or Sasha or Georgie, who seemed to me to be unambiguously people of colour, or characters like Tim or Martin (who could perfectly reasonably be people of colour and who I hc as Rroma and biracial respectively)? I don’t know, it’s difficult to express, but I find it frustrating.
#tma#White Jon#idk sorry to post this so separate from the rest of the conversation I have been Busy
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Hi Ryn! I hope you're having a good November. You said your sketch dump drawings were mostly based on headcanons so can I ask for the headcanons/ideas behind maid!kaze and maid!teikoku? Also who are the frog princes? (Or the real prince if the other frogs are fakers 😊)
Hewwo sweetie! My november is going fine! I'm doing the inavember so i'm working hard in drawing each day! i hope you have a nice month too <3
Also thank you so much for asking this aaaaaaaa i love talking about my headcanons asdvwd
Maid!Teikoku
The drawings were for the May 10 (maid day)
I started just drawing Kazemaru and then everyone else came too (?)
Tbh it was something to mess around and to have an excuse to draw the four of them in dresses
Why they end up in maid dresses was more likely because of a bet with the rest of the 3rd year in the soccer team
Probably about something silly like the test results or something like that
Fudou was very sure they were going to win the bet
and he thing is… they lost the bet
And as the school festival approaches, the four of them ended up being the main attraction in a temathic cafe
All of them actually didn't mind wearing dresses
They sLAY in the dresses
Fudou was the only one upset bc they lost
They attracted a lot of customers that day (?
Kazemaru as a maid is good, he’s polite and smiles softly. A little clumsy sometimes as he forgets or mixes the orders. He’s not good with pressure of being a maid. No one complains about this tho
Kaze is shy when he’s getting a lot of attention but as long as they are looking respectfully it is okay(?)
But when someone tries to make a move on him he’s very direct and tells them to stop
Even with a maid outfit an angry Kaze is not something very pretty!
Fudou is more cocky and not very patient with the customers. Also a little lazy and is always trying to annoy someone, mostly Sakuma
Very often if you ask him for something he would say he’s in his break
He loves to eat sweets while working
But he actually does his work correctly most of the time
Genda… he is the BEST out of the four. Very good at talking to the customers, very very polite and with a beautiful smile!
He’s just a little bit embarrassed because his outfit exposes a lot of skin (?)
Genda is also the one who protects his friends and tells the customers to not take photos of them without permission
Sakuma… he tries his best. I think he’s not very good at talking with customers and gets nervous sometimes
He does a good work tho yuy <3
and he totally doesn't mind the dress. He ignores all the attention and does what he has to do
Prince & Frogs
For the frogs,,, if i'm honest i didnt think about it (? I thought anyone could be a frog (?)
But if i had to put a name on each frog,,, Fudou, Goenji, Genda and Sakuma!
as they are my fav ships with Kaze lately ‘v’)
the life of a multishipper is hard sometimes (?)
I hope that's what you asked! (??) If is not just tell me (?) I got a little excited writing 🤭
Have a nice day and thank you again 🥰❤❤
#ask#cosas de ryn#kazemaru ichirouta#fudou akio#sakuma jirou#genda koujirou#teikoku gang#Ryn's headcanons#its-always-a-rare-pair#thank you again honey 🥺❤#English is not my first language so im sorry if theres any errors
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the idea of making hc’s of children is sosososo cute. i’ll follow ur steps chloe @akaashit-baeji lolol this is gonna be really self-indulgent buuut my excuse is that it’s my birthday so here it goes... i'm writing the last half of this with a hangover and a bad case of dysmenorrhea... sucks 2 be me
Oikawa Teru (及川 輝)
his name “輝“ means “bright”, and this boi lives up to it because, let’s face it, he’s gonna be like his dad. he embodies this “brightness”, in a way that he’s smart, and he makes sure he and his team’s (or whichever team he’s going to be in) will shine on the court
wavy/curly hair and a victim of my and his dad’s astigmatism. always has this cheeky smile, and he gets my brimming energy so he’s really approachable and charming
very good with words; it’s like he always knows what to say
when he plays he also wears contact lenses
but don’t be fooled. in their generation, it’s him who has to put iwaizumi’s son in check. he knows everything about his teammates too, he knows more than what he lets on (which sometimes, they find creepy, but they all know he means well)
anyway, unlike his dad, he doesn’t really mind having geniuses around. instead, he watches them very closely; something like “mutualism”. he knows what he lacks and he knows he can learn from them too, vice versa.
is into horror games. in his free time, he and his sister take turns playing. and they decide it by seeing who can last the longest without flinching/screaming. he’s annoyed because his sister’s better at it
has fans, ngl. i mean look at him. however, the female fans especially, are pretty on guard. he’s approachable, but anytime they see him with his sister... they back out. he doesn’t mind, he loves his sister and it actually amuses him. he’s the same when it comes to the boys who hang around her too!
basically protective siblings who are always there for eo
is very neat. can’t concentrate when something is out of place. he keeps his nails short, has a somewhat flowery scent. yes, he uses female perfumes because he despises strong smells.
bug-catching was his childhood hobby just like mine’s was. used to sneak beetles in iwaizumi’s son’s backpack back then
he will never admit it but he actually asks his sister for fashion tips because his taste sucks ass so bad
basically his major problem or issue in life is getting compared to his father (he’s also a setter). he hates that so much, being hidden in the shadow of his dad, and when people just recognize him for being oikawa tooru’s son.
something he and ushijima’s child relate to so strongly. they’re friendly rivals; might end up being teammates in their career hmm
so when he’s the one stressed, he skips practice for a day just so he could recollect his thoughts. usually stays in the library to read books he picked up based on the titles; might either open up to iwa or his sister later on, it depends. then when he’s okay, he doubles the amount of training
Oikawa Rie (及川 麗恵) it’s /ri-ye/ oki
so the kanjis are: "麗" meaning, beautiful and "恵" is blessed. tooru thought of this name obviously
also has curly hair like mine. has that tiny mole below her eye just like i do. actually has lots of moles over her body; one time she fell asleep on the couch her brother drew connecting lines between the moles on her arm and called them constellations. it was nice she thought but still, the next day, teru had to wear a band-aid over his nose bridge.
she’s just a year younger. is less “vibrant” than her brother, a bit more serious. has a resting bitch face and she’s not even sorry about it and i love her for that
she’s actually relieved she looks like that, or else she knows the girls in her class would flock to her just to get in her brother’s pants. usually brushes them off with “ask him, not me” or “do you think that’s any of my concern?”
her tongue her words damn never get to this baby girl’s bad side she’s gonna burn you alive. like fr when she’s angry, oh she’s gonna show you that she’s angry. but tbh she's very sweet, leaves little notes or little gifts to her friends every now and then
she just doesn’t want her brother’s heart to be broken (she’s heard stories from her mom about her dad’s many hs exes), and she knows teru’s struggles
therefore
doesn’t really like volleyball that much. it’s because she didn’t get to grow up with her dad around, she felt like it separated her from him. she’s not mad at him though. she’s very supportive of him and her brother.
used to play vb though when they were kids. but that’s all it was for her
she’s the team’s honorary manager lol the occasional “i brought you guys sumn” or “something-kun, a girl from my class says she likes you so do your best” etc
the team’s lil sister how bout that
despite being tolerant of horror games, this girl is vvvv squeamish. she cries at the sight of internal organs or blood. biology lab was the worst time of her life
when she dug up my hs videos she was shook to discover i once did theater. and thus begins her interest in theater too
and??? baby girl is actually???? really really good????
the girls she used to shut down nicknamed her “prima”, short for “prima donna” she hates it. hates it more when her closest theater buddy was the one who spread that around
immediately went to the gym to spike some balls from her brother. baby girl was crying because she was just so pissed.
she was given ice cream and sweets afterwards. ugh it’s so cute idk she’s baby to the team skksksk they protecc
in that upcoming play, her first ever performance, the whole team got front row seats and howled when she came on during curtain call; it was vvv sweet and memorable even if the guys were kinda reprimanded afterwards lmao
which is why, in return, boiis also have a hard time approaching her because damn??? the vb team as your knights???? excuse me???
oh have i mentioned she has a sweet tooth? mygod. she has a stash of sweets in her room. teru has had to sneak some away because she might get tooth aches or diabetes
her pastel nail polish is arranged by shade, her body clock is fucked up lmao she hates the mornings; has succulents by her window which she names after various characters from books/plays etc she’s for sure gonna be a theater actress tho
asks help from iwa’s son for math. even her brother’s 0% help. teru is smart but a terrible teacher. she’s an above-average student and that’s all that matters for her. she can leave the spotlight to her brother because she only craves one type of spotlight
Miya Seiichi (宮 聖一) and Miya Seiji (宮 聖二)
their names literally mean “聖” sacred then “一” is one, and “二” is two
atsumu thought it was funny. when they were kids, seiichi’s nickname was “juan” and seiji’s was “tutu” (i gave them the nicknames)
when the twins discovered the meaning behind the nicknames, they hated it. especially seiji, he despises it vvv much
so when they were hs, seiichi = chi, seiji = ji for the people they're close with
as we can see here, the twins unfortunately got my curls. seiichi likes his hair as is. he doesn’t like the thought of dyeing his hair just to be differentiated from his twin. in fact he enjoys twin jokes, enjoys tripping people up about it. seiji on the other hand, grew tired of his brother’s jokes and by the time hs started, he sacrifices his soft hair.
between the two, seiji is the one who has my ugly eyesight. add to the fact that he reads a lot (once he starts he can’t put it down. so he reads in the dark, in a moving car etc)
the piercings was a thing that happened between them, and their cousins (which were also twins wtf)–it was a 2v2 vb thing and they lost
surprisingly, the cousins weren't pleased bc atsumu didn't scold them for getting piercings (but for playing half-heartedly). seiichi wanted the piercings tho tbh it was the perfect excuse. ngl, seiji also wanted them.
first let's talk abt seiichi, aside from the fact he also got my mole (he feels it makes him look cuter tho)
seiichi's into vb, but not a setter. he's the ace. may or may not push through with it as a career. he hasn't decided yet. is actually a bit sad that seiji didn't join the vb club in hs, he wanted them to be like his dad and uncle.
seiichi doesn't have any uh, quirks like shutting the whole cheer squad up like his dad does. but he usually dribbles the ball five times before any serve (this is something i did before) and he likes the 'ooooh hey' thing the crowd does when he goes for a serve
his side of the room doesn't have much stuff going on except workout equipment. he follows what exercise plan i give him as da PT mom that i am, and he is very strict with his diet and with what he eats–he's close to not needing a calorie counter anymore; but not a picky eater. he loves his uncle's cooking very much and he is jealous he can't cook even if he tries
he can do beatboxing, he learned it through youtube lmao his spotify playlists are da bombest; he learns a lot in youtube tho in his free time. his current interest is magic tricks and french (he thinks he can use it to woo that girl from class 4)
he hates insects, and hates mess. he has had to scold his twin about it that it escalated to them having this imaginary line in the middle of the room
anyway, he's straightforward. but not rude. he just doesn't like any pretenses so he says what he thinks or feels is right. may or may not have led to some misunderstandings, but he owns up to his mistakes if he crossed a line
next, seiji
even if he looks like a nerd with his glasses tbh he is not he actually hates studying. you can love reading without having to love studying right? he's that dude
the only time that he regrets dyeing his hair was when he realizes couldn't change identities so his brother could take his exam for him
his side of the room is littered with his sketches, notes from books, pencils everywhere – he drew a bunch of ants one time on a paper and made it look like they're real ass ants and placed it on seiichi's pillow
to solve this problem, atsumu has planned to give him a tablet for his next birthday
quits vb in hs because he kinda lost interest? he still finds it fun but he doesn't wanna be put under the pressure that his dad and uncle left for them lmao
he's in art clubs tho
he designs banners/posters for the team anyway. they use his strategic mind from the shit he's read for any plays and stuff so when he's not drawing, he's thinking
he might look like he has no emotions, but tbh he is more emotional and empathetic than his brother. he cries easily over the simplest things, like those grandparents vids, or rescuing animals and stuff
and thats why he doesn't let people in too much bc he knows he'll be hurt (dw seiichi knows this vvv well, and even if they do have arguments, he loves his lil bro and helps him about this)
has once begged to have a cat at home–seiichi didn't want bc he knows his twin is gonna leave him for clean up lmao
he can cook period.
he's gonna either be an architect or an animator, still hasn't decided.
his music taste sucks lmao. his youtube recents are filled with cooking stuff; in constant conversation with his uncle abt cooking lol it be cute sometimes atsumu is jealous bc he feels his son is closer to his brother than with him
he is forgetful that's why his stuff is messy lol he keeps misplacing stuff, sometimes it's literally in front of him and he's just 'where????'
but remembers dates well, remembers plays well. he's good at nitpicking tiny nearly insignificant details. just anything outside studying? he's good. dw he passes his classes but he hates giving effort for that shit lololol
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MORE TAGGED POSTS
I got tagged in a bunch more things I didn't respond to fast enough, so UNDER THE CUT THEY GO.
I have too many things to respond to, so I won't be tagging, but consider yourself tagged if you want to do any.
IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS
Tagged by the wonderful @bardingbeedle
Pass the happy!🌻🌿 When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications!
Lying in warm blankets in an cold room. Bonus points for snow outside.
A fresh Buzz cut
Talking to @bardingbeedle
Having long, passionate rambles about the Marvel Ultimates
Hashbrowns, bacon, maple syrup, maybe a pancake, and a sausage too.
Tagged by the chaotic @s-hylor
top 3 cities you want to visit: Toronto, again. Colorado (I know its a state not a city I just want to visit ashes AND GET SNOW). And I would like to go back to Italy again. (I also want to visit, just, all of my fandom friends but I don't want to drop all their locations lol)
favorite marvel character: Ults!Steve Rogers and then Ults!Tony Stark. Not counting stony, Anthony the brain tumor, and not counting clones, Gregory Stark.
white chocolate - yay or nay?: Love it, love it, love it.
favourite board game: God Save The Queens- A board game about Bees I invented with 3 other people at University last year for a project.
how many countries have you been to: 10, I have been very luckily graced with the ability to travel to Europe with school a lot.
(Wales, France, Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, America [Florida, Boston, New York], Spain, Portugal, Italy, and finally Canada.)
favorite thing to do on a rainy day: Anything indoors I might usually feel guilty about doing when its sunny. Tv or games particularly
favorite holiday: Christmas. I am a Christmas slut, call me festive sapling I LOVE Christmas.
pen or pencil: Pen. I once bought 7 in lisbon at the same time bc they were perfect and I didn't want to run out.
favourite kind of soup: Cupasoup Chicken noodle, I don't really like soups tbh, I like broths, and gravy type things I make too much of and eat like a soup (like golden Currys or korma sauces)
your typical order at a cafe or coffee shop: Caramel Frappucino or an iced Mocha. If I'm gonna pay a fuck tonne for coffee I'm gonna get a drinkable dessert.
favorite ride at an amusement park: Any slow rides that show you shit, like spaceship earth at EPCOT. I’m not really a speed dude.
the color of your sneakers: RED, red shoes are the shit folks, a good pair of red converse goes with everything.
favorite pbs show (or little kids show if you didn’t have pbs): Uh I used to watch pokemon then winnie the pooh every single night. But little little kids show I used to watch a show called 64 zoo lane with my grandma so I have fond memories
Rules: name your favorite female characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people.
Tagged by the wonderful @ashes0909
Natasha Romanov - Marvel Cinematic Universe
Carol Danvers - Marvel 616
Janet Van Dyne - Marvel Ultimates
Izumi Curtis - Full Metal Alchemist
Martha Jones - Doctor Who
Garnet - Steven Universe (if she doesn't count bc, space rock, Connie)
Rosa Diaz - Brooklyn 99
Ann Perkins - Parks and Rec
Princess Caroline - Bojack Horseman
Pam Poovey - Archer
LOOK I know there was a lot of cheating here, but I don't have non marvel fandoms really, and I have a hard time remembering a lot of the TV I enjoyed.
Rules: Share your top 10 AO3 additional tags. Tagged by the mysterious @nigmuff
look I don't know if I have enough tags to make this a justified representation, but the ones shown are v much on brand.
Fanfic trope meme
I was tagged by the delightful @capnstars and @crownofstardustandbone
slowburn or love at first sight // fake dating or !!!secret dating!!! // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt/comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut AND fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or !!!!middle-aged romance!!! // time travel or isolated together // neighbours or roommates // sci-fi or magic au // body swap or genderbend // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane
Look guys, I’m boring. I like domestic 30-40 year olds in secret relationships. We knew this.
And now buckle the fuck down folks because I'm about to answer 50 questions about me no one is gonna stick around and read.
tagged by @bardingbeedle the only person who would put up with reading this much about me.
What is the colour of your hairbrush?
I have a buzz cut, I don't have a hair brush anymore.
Are you typically too warm or too cold?
Too warm. I have been warmer than most people my whole life, and I often need to sleep with a fan on.
What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
Working on a sketch for an MTH fill (update from the end of this: I have spent an hour doing this fuckin thing)
What is your favourite candy bar?
Bounty. My favourite candy is Reese’s Pieces but I like a bounty. Or like, and chocolate without fruit in it tbh.
Have you ever been to a professional sports event?
Yes, one of my parents referees Championship Football here in the UK. I have been to a few of his games. I also went to the London 2012 Paralympic closing ceremony, if that counts.
What is the last thing you said out loud?
‘Oh, this will last me a few days’ I was talking to my mother about 1/2 a can of pringles, I was lying.
What is your favourite ice cream?
Vanilla. I am boring. But the best ice cream i’ve had was a cream/milk flavoured gelato in Florence, that shit slapped. I also like cheap strawberry ice cream when no one is trying to put strawberry bits in it.
What was the last thing you had to drink?
Dinner. A spinach, banana, summer fruits and coconut yoghurt smoothie (with extra raspberries). Its my nightly dinner to cheat more veg into my body.
Do you like your wallet?
Very much. It’s about 7-8 years old, it is faded to hell but it has spiderman and a pony ride stony pin
What was the last thing you ate?
See above smoothie comment, but if that doesn't count, a sugar free mint polo.
Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?
Nope. I don't buy as many clothes as I want to, bc mens clothes in larger sizes are hard to find or expensive here.
The last sporting event you watched?
F1, I don't keep up but I watch a little with my dad every now and then.
What is your favourite flavour of popcorn?
BUTTER. They don't really have it here, and I don't go to movies much when in the states. But @festiveferret introduced me to it when we saw Ant-man and the Wasp, and much like poutine and Tim Hortons, I still crave it.
Who is the last person you sent a text message to?
My dad.
Ever go camping?
Yes, I was a Scout. I have done enough camping to not want to do more, it was fun when I wasn't organising it.
Do you take vitamins?
Yes, but not as often as I should, and as much as my mother bothers me too.
Do you go to church every Sunday?
Nope, not even when I considered myself christian. I go only go to church for other peoples events, and I’m an agnostic now.
Do you have a tan?
I cannot tan. I just can't, I burn lobster red in 5 minutes outside without literal sun cream for BABIES
Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?
Chinese food, It was easily what taught me to like more foods also, I don't eat tomato so I can't have most pizza. I love a good garlic base/bechamel, but you can't really get that here easily (yes yes I could make my own but that ruins half the point of pizza)
Do you drink your soda with a straw?
I don't drink carbonated drinks, because its like drinking pain. The fuck is wrong with all of you.
What colour socks do you usually wear?
Various colours, but I consider red on the left, blue on the right, my lucky socks. No I don't know why, but I take all exams and interviews wearing them. It’s just a thing.
Do you ever drive above the speed limit?
I don't drive, but if I did, No. Theres a lot of questionable laws out there but Traffic laws aren't one of them.
What terrifies you?
Pfft, most things from spiders to rollercoasters. But more seriously, Being shouted at. Shout at me and I start hyperventilating, its a thing. Also not knowing if someone is mad at me. I’m not good at reading people,
Look to your left, what do you see?
The wallet shown earlier, and the sugar free polos mentioned after that.
What chore do you hate?
Vacuuming. It makes everything in my body hurt. I would rather clean toilets.
What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?
@s-hylor
What’s your favourite soda?
See above. I do not like your pain liquid. Apple juice for life.
Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?
Either delivery or kiosk, I don't like talking to people where possible, I often need tweaks I don't want to have to remember to repeat.
Who’s the last person you talked to?
@downeyhills
Favourite cut of beef?
I don't generally eat beef, lamb, or most red meats. I love crispy chilly beef, but as anyone can point out its bc your generally don't feel the texture of the beef.
Last song you listened to?
Everybody Wants to Rule the World | Tears for Fears | Pomplamoose
I’m on a Pomplamoose kick, and I also just love this song anyway.
Last book you read?
Understanding Comics (The invisible Art) - Scott McCloud
Favourite day of the week?
Friday nights. The weekend is ahead and @loraneldin and I take to wrangling our beloved usual suspects through another week of Ults Book Club.
Can you say the alphabet backwards?
I can barely say it forwards.
How do you like your coffee?
With milk and sugar, or ultimately, in a Caramel Frappuccino bc I'm a bitch like that.
Favourite pair of shoes?
I have walking boots that don't make my flat ass feet feel like they’re dying. OR my black and green crocs (Fight me, they’re useful).
The time you normally go to sleep?
9-10 is what I'm working on, but I fluctuate depending on if I'm working on something or not.
The time you normally get up?
5-6 If I have a choice in the matter, but often 7-8 if I didn't get to bed at the right time. I’m more about getting the right hours in for my diet than time specifically.
What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?
Sunset is the prettiest, but I like to be awake to see the sun rise.
How many blankets on your bed?
One big thick comforter, because that's the uk standard, and I get too hot otherwise.
Describe your kitchen plates
Two types, big wide white ones with a navy blue rim. They are so large I never use them, and little Navy saucer plates I use a lot.
Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?
I don't drink, so no. I drink apple juice or Shirley temples when I'm in pubs/bars
Do you play cards?
Sometimes, I like to teach people to play Old Maid. It’s the monopoly of card games.
What colour is your car?
Again, I do not drive.
Can you change a tire?
I am aware I just said I don't have a car, but I do know how to change a tire. Everyone should go learn its pretty simple.
Favourite job you’ve ever had?
I have only had one job really and two job experience jobs. I did experience in a school library for a week and that was v fun and chill. I did all the jobs they had prepared for me in 2 days so I alphabetically reorganised their fiction section for the rest of the week. I LIKE ORDERING.
How did you get your biggest scar?
I no longer have a gallbladder, so I have 3 scars across my torso from that, the biggest right in the middle of my ribs. Non surgical wise I have matching scars on my knees from ripping holes in them when tripping. I have weak ankles and also I got both of those at different times.
What did you do today that made someone else happy?
I gave my spare animal crossing Iguanodon skull to a wicked artist I follow on twitter so he could complete his dino park.
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Diary Post: My Thoughts and Processes on Making “Silent Strength” It’s lengthy, taking place over long period of time. Mainly written for my future-self to remember what I went through, but also for anyone who is curious. Now that the project is over, I can post without reservations. There are certain things I need to keep secret though, so if I’m vague I do so intentionally!
Basically, a lot of number-crunching, physical labor, and psychological labor.
It started off as kind of a joke tweet I made. I had enough content to make a Tales Of art book and people were receptive to it. So… I thought maybe I could go somewhere with this. A few weeks later, I suddenly had a lot of Kratos art. Like. 80% of all my Tales art was Kratos. It didn’t make sense to make a broad Tales Of book when really most of it was Kratos.
I hadn’t made a book since I was in college despite it being one of my favorite things to do. They were never art books, just some editorial design projects that totally didn’t count. This book… would be my first-ever art book.
Several times, I came close to having enough art to print a book - the last time was my large collection of Yusuke Kitagawa, but the quality wasn’t where I wanted. At that time, I was still experimenting with my iPad Pro and figuring out Procreate, so that was what I used him for.
NGL, I was pretty afraid of looking like a clown. After doing all this work, what if no one actually buys it? I was talking to some friends and they said they would buy it. It was enough for me. In the end, I’m creating something that I love. - The first thing I really wanted to work on was the cover. It needed to be epic but also mysterious (lol)… It was a good time to practice lighting and backgrounds. The cover had to be freaking Fantastic. I spent 3 days drawing nonstop. I was on vacation so I could spend full days just drawing. It was really intense. I would stop in the evenings to go for a run or else my legs would never get circulation again.
The hardest part was keeping it secret. I wanted to share it with the world right away bc I was so proud of it. Well, all I could do was show it to my parents and some close friends. They didn’t know who Kratos is, but it was obvious I was crazy about him.
Initially, I was doing some hand-lettering for the zine title instead of using a typeface. Tbh, I was so sure I was naming this zine “Blame Your Fate!” bc that is such an iconic line. But it just didn’t work with my cover, which looked… a little too serene for that. So… Silent Strength or Divine Strength? I asked around and got my answer.
But what size? All of my art has been on letter canvases. I wanted it to be large so you could see the details in the art. I’ll just start with that. - Luckily, I had all my Kratos-related art in one place. I started my InDesign file and threw everything in there just to see what it looked like. Man, I draw a lot of boxes… But I didn’t want them all next to each other. I also wanted to kinda organize it by the people Kratos hangs out with. There’s a Yuan section LOL… and a Lloyd section… and an Anna section. Idk, I tried to get some kind of order in there with a sprinkling of full spreads here and there to keep it fresh and interesting for the eyes.
I hadn’t worked with InDesign on such an intense level since college. I forgot all of the tips and tricks we learned in class. Spent some time reading on how to do things again… like adding page numbers. - I started drafting my pre-order form. It’s my first time making a google form like this. It’s kind of fun? I spent a long time on it, despite how simple it was. This was going to be my “Store” so it had to look and sound good. - My friend introduced me to charm-making. It seemed easy enough, and I wanted to give my zine more oomph. Besides, I’ve always wanted to make a charm.
I remember someone saying they’d buy a book of just the 4 Seraphim if it existed. I like them too and they lack art imo. In the end, I decided to do a polaroid charm. It’s not really that unique but I wanted Kratos to have actual friends to hang out with for once LOL.
She was going to do a group order to try to reduce the costs. I thought maybe 4 weeks would give me enough time. In the end she said I only have 2. I work well under pressure, so needless to say, I did make that deadline. I actually sketched the whole thing on the plane headed home. - After playing the game the second time, watching the OVA again, and reading “Offerings to a Star,” I have gained a real soft spot for Yuan. My friend once said, “If you weren’t stolen away by Kratos, you would be in love with Yuan.” Lol. I’ve been in a “Kratos and Yuan hanging out” mood lately, so of course I needed something good for the zine. They’re so cute together! Now… what is the bro-est thing I can draw?
I was currently in Florida for my friend’s wedding. I was friends with the groom and his best man since high school, so that makes it 10 years now. Seeing how they’re still friends after all this time, despite living in opposite sides of the country, was really moving to me. Of course, me being me, I could see Kratos and Yuan’s long friendship being similar to this, if they had gone to school together. I just had to draw it. - When I got back from vacation, I did some research on zine sizes. Mine was HUGE compared to others. I just didn’t quite realize it until I held a magazine in my hands. It really is huge…
I settled for a medium size. 7x9. I really liked how it looked. Petite but not too petite. Unfortunately resizing my book had messed up my artwork placement so I spent hours rearranging all the text and resizing my images. I found out afterwards that there’s a way to retain the format while changing the document size. Gee, that would have been helpful 4 hours ago.
Sadly, choosing a custom size booklet makes printing more expensive. But I wanted it badly enough that I’d be willing to pay for it. Letter size is just too large… - I decided to stop dragging my feet and post a promo. I just really needed a deadline for myself to get this all done before July ended. I’m happy it was well-received. A lot of people like Kratos huh…
Anyway, the pre-order is due in a week and I still don’t know what all the costs are yet. I need a physical proof ASAP to weigh at the post office! - Something possessed me one day to do another drawing. I don’t usually do painterly style (mainly because it’s really difficult and takes 10x longer) but I just REALLY wanted to push myself on this Final Piece to the zine. I wanted it to be… radiant. Almost religious. I worked on it obsessively. From breakfast to sundown. The only time I would stop was at 7pm to go running or else my legs would give out on me.
Call me crazy, but I would save my progress on my phone so I could examine it for errors during my warmup. I also spend an hour examining it for errors before going to bed. It’s a miracle I hadn’t dreamt of the painting. - I sent my files in on Sunday in hopes that they start working on it first thing on Monday…. and it HAPPENED! They finished before I even woke up. I think they start work at like 6am…
Of course, I drove over there as soon as I heard so I can get a look. “Please… please let the colors be okay,” I prayed as I was driving. I barely remember driving there, I was so lost in thought. It would be another long ordeal if I had to fix all the colors.
Thank the stars. The press proof looked BEAUTIFUL!! I was screaming to the client coordinator how much I loved it. I mean, I worried for a looooong time that everything would turn out too dark (it usually does) but it was PERFECT. I was especially worried about the cover, which contained a lot of yellow and I def did not want it to come out mustardy… But it was great in the end!
The press operator is a quiet man. He’s got a scary face and never smiles but I think he’s secretly nice. He has done a lot of favors for me in the past without my asking. He was the one to print, bind, and trim the book for me. Obviously he had to have seen what I was drawing. I wonder what he thought of it…? He walked away before I could express how happy and thankful was. He didn’t need to hear it. It was like he already knew. So cool…
I immediately took it to the post office to weigh it. I needed as much info as I could get and plus, I was dying to know for myself. This is the week I was supposed to open pre-orders and there was still a lot I needed to do. Take pictures, create mockups, pricing, etc.
NGL, all of these costs were building up fast. It was so darn expensive to make a zine while also keeping prices down. But I wanted so much more for my baby. Extra glossy cover, perfect binding!! I knew by the end of this, I probably wouldn’t make much money. It hurt a little, but I tried to think that it was for the greater good. Learning experience and all that. And creating something beautiful. Especially something beautiful of Kratos. - Pricing was really the hardest part. I pretty much threw profit out the window. However, I definitely did not want to be losing money. My dad and I had worked together to create a spreadsheet of expenses to make sure my head was above water. I followed it… loosely.
My friend came to talk to me at the right moment. I was sort of panicking at the prices. She made me realize I was thinking way too hard about it and gave me some tips based on her own experience. It really put my mind at ease talking to someone who understands my woes.
The truth of the matter is, the book is wonderfully made and has a lot of pages - countless hours of drawing. There is only so much I can do about pricing. It is what it is… I just needed to come to terms with my own worth. - Boy, what am I going to do once the zine is done? My friend says that I’ll be so over Kratos that I’ll stop drawing him (but the love remains). It’s like… all of the intense planning, working, struggling nonstop will just suddenly… stop. TBH, I’m running out of ideas. I spent it all on the zine. - Photoshoot today. I had to paint my nails purple for this occasion. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get the look I wanted in the apartment. It’s just so naked without props. I think I’ll take it to a cafe for some nicer backgrounds. I talked it over with my friend and decided to do a quick flip-through of the zine as a promotional video. I used the most professional video program I had on hand… Snapchat. It actually turned out pretty legit and of course I slapped stickers on there because it’s Snapchat.
I had to tape/hide some of the pages for the video because I wasn’t actually done with the drawings. I had the printers print it anyway so I could examine it for color accuracy.
I’m really stressed about pricing now. It turns out I had a lot more international fans than I anticipated. I wish I took notes on interest earlier in the game to cater to them. I had a list of “possible buyers” and I only just now decided to check where they live? Foolish.
I did another cost analysis on paper to figure out what my goal was to make up for the charms. Right now they’ve cost me a fortune for something that was supposed to be giveaway. Other things that rack up are packaging costs, PayPal fees, and some other supplies I needed for this project.
Maybe I shouldn’t have made it 40 pages. It is an impressive number, but no one is really paying for quantity. I think 25 is a better number lol. If I had done that, I could have had my super-gloss cover like I wanted. :’(
There is hope though. And I’ve placed it in the hands of my followers to come through for me. I think I’ll open pre-orders on Saturday or Sunday, depending on what I finish. - “Losing your cool will only lead to poor decisions.”
Thanks, Kratos twitter bot. You always know what to say.
I read this post today on what makes people buy zines. Very interesting!
https://twitter.com/andythelemon_/status/1141469048653398019 - Photoshoot part 2 today. My friend and I went to a cafe nearby that had some nice atmosphere in hopes of finding the right shots. I brought all of my Kratos merch just in case. I’m glad I did though, since the tables were pretty sparse and it was difficult to capture the backgrounds without getting a bunch of random people in it too.
I would have been the photographer, but I definitely wanted my hands in the shots. In a way, it was meaningful - to show that this was made by my own two hands. Plus, I wanted to depict natural interaction with the product. It made it feel real.
The photos were cute! I feared it would look a little amateurish with all the merch in there, but I think fun was what I was really going for, not “professional.” And plus the flip-through was a Snap anyway LOL. As long as the photos have good lighting and tasteful composition, you really can’t go wrong with “fun.”
Now that I’ve finished editing my photos, there really isn’t anything holding me back from opening pre-orders. I’ve pretty much come to terms with my pricing. If I fail to break even, I’ll just have to open commissions to try to make up for it. I was telling my friend on the way home, “I gave this zine EVERYTHING I had to give. So at the very least, I won’t be disappointed in myself.” No stone left unturned, no detail left unchecked. It was perfect according to my standards. I really love my zine okay?!
I thought I was crazy for not only choosing a small fandom, I narrowed it down even further by picking ONE GUY to make this zine about. She replied, “Even if it’s small, those people who love him now must be EXTREMELY LOYAL to still be in love with a character from a 15-year-old game. All of them will want your zine.” - I went to bed that night with the intention of making the pre-order post live in the morning. I was so nervous I couldn’t sleep. I was wide awake until at least 5 or 6 am. Luckily, I was able to doze off for a an hour or two before I would shake myself awake again. It was a mixture of anxiety and excitement. It was the moment of truth - to see if all my effort made a difference. Was it going to sell? - The pre-order post looked really freaking good. I’ll give it that. I even made a YT account just to post that darn preview video on tumblr lol. It was definitely fun seeing everyone’s excitement and we all just freaked out together.
I broke even! That’s what really matters. Honestly at this point, I couldn’t care less if I made profit or not. I now know how much people really like the zine and that alone made me so happy I could die.
I was particularly fascinated at Google Form’s ability to transfer all the data collected into a spreadsheet. That is extremely helpful. I spent hours organizing the data. It was really fun…?! Now I can tell who gets invoiced and who paid and separate them into categories. IT’S FANTASTIC!
Stayed up late researching how much adding tracking could be. I had a slight panic attack thinking “what if my books got lost in transit?” It would really hurt me to have to reprint books and ship them again. And then I realized I will need to fill out customs forms for all international orders. Yikes, I’m gonna be living at the post office lol. You can print them out at home if you fill out the form online but there are still some things I’m uncertain about. I may visit the post office later this week to ask all my questions. - This morning I sent out everyone’s invoices. I gave the international people the option to purchase tracking. It’s expensive… but I need to provide that option just in case.
I received a nice message from someone who offered to advertise for me on Instagram. Of course, I gave them the OK! I’m really so shocked they would do that… They said the liked the zine so much it deserved more exposure. My dude… I love you… T_T
I thought about advertising on insta myself earlier in the week. For some reason I felt it was going to be fruitless since I don’t have an art account on there with a following. So, I gave up on the idea. Hey it worked out in the end.
I’ve never been so organized in my entire life. I want this zine experience to be perfect. The people have placed their trust in me, so I cannot mess up. - Edited some pages in the zine. The typography must be perfect… It made me think back to undergrad days in graphic design school. Man, if only I can present this as a project - photos, videos, matching accessories and all. I’d probably get an A lol. - Orders slow down after the first day. The rest is just about getting new people to see the post and giving other people more time to decide.
I finished my Kratos stationery today. It’s going to be so cute. My friend said people would want to buy it but I don’t have it in me to do more products at this time. Plus, I want it to be a surprise.
Why make stationery? Well my real job (no, I don’t draw Kratos all day for a living) is a stationery designer! It would feel really wrong not to put into practice what etiquette I’ve learned in this business. Plus, I felt that it was necessary to properly thank all those who ordered. And it’s fun?
I started designing the shipping labels for the domestic orders since I don’t need to fill out a customs form for those. I wish I had sticker labels but… it’s okay. It will still look good in the end. - Every so often, I would get nervous at the amount of money I’m responsible for. Perhaps, if I had a store with existing products I wouldn’t feel this way, but the fact that the books haven’t been printed yet made me scared. I know, I need this money to even print the books in the first place, but I’m just baffled at my customers’ trust in almost a total stranger. I felt pressured that I could not let them down and lose that trust. It probably didn’t help that I watched a documentary on Elizabeth Holmes (Theranos) that day.
So, I prayed every single day that nothing would go wrong. I’d check my spreadsheet constantly for any mistakes. It was a little obsessive, but I would rather be that than overlook something.
I began collecting cardboard boxes. My plan was to cut them up to protect the books during transit. I would have preferred hard envelopes but they were a bit pricey. If I have to do more work myself, so be it.
I’ve been getting nice DMs from some buyers. I think my invoice due date scared them… I really did not intend to be strict, but I wanted people to pay now if they can rather than forget about it. This happens at work all the time, so the best thing to do is have it due immediately. It would not look good to have to wait on stragglers when I close pre-orders, so I’ll probably reach out when there is one week left. - My Kratos stationery arrived! Aww it is SO CUTE!!! My babies… I have a lot of notes to write so I got started right away. It’s going to be a lot of work trying to come up with creative ways to say “thank you,” but I don’t mind. I said I was going to put my all into the zine experience so I will.
At long last, the charm order has been put in motion. My friend said it could take a while… I hope it won’t be longer than 3 weeks. I really do not want to keep everyone waiting. I may ship out the ones who did not win a charm first. I mean, there is no reason to make those guys wait. I should ask the charm winners if they still want to wait and see if anyone wants to give it up for someone else who is more patient. Hm. - I finally stopped by the post office today to collect customs forms. I have my work cut out for me since I’m filling all of them in by hand. D:
I’m not used to international addresses so I think I’ll ask for help in checking them for spelling errors and typos. Heaven forbid I mess up on the very last part of the zine experience.
In my nervousness, I decided to reach out about invoices early on. If someone wanted to cancel, I would rather find out sooner rather than later. Everyone was really nice about paying and thank goodness they’re still excited.
Feeling kind of overwhelmed by all the things I need to do, but it’s a good thing. If I don’t know what to do, I can either: cut cardboard, write letters, type shipping labels, draw more Kratos for a… possible volume 2? Someone I talked to today already said they’ll pre-order a second book if I make one. Omg I think I’ll die. But we’ll see. It’s just a joke right now haha… - Preorders end today. I had another nightmare last night that the books could not be printed properly and there was nothing I could do. Why do I keep getting nightmares about the zine! I had one a few days before about people canceling their orders when I asked them about the invoices. I’ll take these dreams with a grain of salt. I’m probably just stressed/worried but everything is going to be okay. When I open my eyes, nothing is on fire.
I received my final proof a few days ago. With all of the artwork completed and changes applied. The book looks good, no doubt about it. There was only one thing I was nit-picky about but it can be fixed. The press operator offered to print another book for me to inspect. I’ll go see it on Monday and then submit the rest of the orders. I also asked to to have a meeting with the press operator so we are on the same page. It would be beneficial to have an understanding of how my book is made so that I may be more helpful to him.
I spent the day preparing shipping labels. I hate to admit, I am not too familiar with the format international addresses so I had an address validator open as I was typing them in. For the most part, everyone was helpful in already formatting their addresses in the preorder form! - My parents called me the day after preorders were closed. They wanted to say congratulations on my success. No one thought it would do this well. I couldn’t be offended by that since I was also guilty of it. I’m happy though. It feels like my love spread across the world and was contagious.
I tried to think of what advice I would give to others. Obviously, genuine love for the subject and hard work were a necessity. But it would be good to consider value. If I were selling it at this price, I had to make sure my pieces and presentation looked the part. I ask myself, if someone else sold it, would I buy it?
I sent out messages to all the charm winners in the morning. I wanted to apologize profusely at the ridiculous amount of time it has taken to get them made. But no, I’ve got to stop apologizing. I stated the facts and left it at that. Everyone was really kind and patient—to which I was thankful for. I don’t usually get that when I’m working customer service. - All the books were done printing in one day. Wow! I went to pick it up immediately of course. I can’t believe all of this is coming to an end. I finished preparing the mailers. All that was left was to stuff and seal the domestic orders. They were the easiest to do so I’m going to ship those first. The rest will need customs forms, which I haven’t filled out just yet. It’s going to be a while for those…
The mailers were quite sturdy with the cardboard cutouts I slipped in them. I have nothing to worry about. I’m sure my babies will be okay! - I took a whole box of domestic orders to the post office today. Wasn’t sure what to expect. But my clerk had to input every single address one at a time while I checked for errors. Omg, why are the post office shipping labels SO HUGE. I thought it was going to be half the size. And they’re ruining my designer labels! Slight panic but oh well…
I had a long long line behind me. I’m so sorry, people. Luckily there were two clerks or I would be really sweating. Despite my intimidating box of zines, the clerk and I had Synergy and we managed to ship all of these in about 15 minutes. I received a very long receipt and quite the bill lol. - Shipped the international orders today. I was kind of a mess since I had no idea what to do. I keep wondering if I can help speed up the process in any way but I don’t think I have the option to ship first-class at home.
When shipping international, keep the post office copy of the customs forms together with the package since they use that to type the address info into the system. Also, we get free tracking, which I did not know about. The other clerk told me that we did not get tracking for international first-class but I guess he was misinformed. It’s good to know for next time. - The charms finally arrived!! And THEY’RE HOLOGRAPHIC?! It was pretty awesome, but it makes picture-taking kind of difficult!! Anyway, I was a tiny bit disgruntled that they got my order incorrect, and I even asked for a reprint. But they said no, so I left it at that. Besides, it seems the holographic effect was well-received.
I like this size that I made. It’s really cute! Larger than your normal charm but not too huge. It’s almost like an Instax photo! - There was one customer who I found lives near me! I asked her if she wanted me to hand-deliver it to her in a public setting and she agreed (to my amazement). We finally met a few days ago and talked for hours and hours lol! I’m glad to have finally made a new friend here in this town but of course she’s moving away in two weeks. <:’3
We’re going to meet again to make the most of her time left. - I shipped the rest of the orders on the following Monday. I HAD to get these out. The poor guys have been waiting over a month! I think I picked a bad time to go because I had a huge line behind me and only one guy working. People in line were getting antsy or mad. The clerk at the other post office was super fast but not this guy…
For some reason shipping to the UK and Japan nearly doubled in price since the last time I checked. RIP. T_T - Omg I finally made a mistake. I wrote a letter to the wrong person. And the contents of that letter are too personalized!!! I am dying of embarrassment!!!!! Screams!! Had to apologize to both customers too!!! Luckily they were good sports about it but I’m seriously kicking myself AAAAAAAA!!!! - The most rewarding part after sending all my babies away is seeing the commentary on my project. It is so so nice to receive positive feedback. People are happy! Happy with something I created out of thin air. Everything was worth it 1000 times over. I can die happy!
I’m especially thankful to those who show understanding for how much effort went into it. It definitely wasn’t easy and I poured way too many hours into it… not that I regret that.
I don’t want to jump the gun but I would really love to make a volume 2. Because I know I can do better than last time. New and improved art and comics! But we’ll see if I make enough pieces for another book. I was against printing 40 pages before but now I kind of like it. It feels more worth it than a 25-page zine. If i’m going though so much effort, might as well bring in the entire package.
I’ll be printing more of this volume for Aselia Con 2020. Now I know people will appreciate it.
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☆ — wait , is that ZELDA KING ? dean lockwood has been looking for them . you didn’t hear it from me but , apparently the JUNIOR might know something about the whole omega chi & kappa tau situation . while they can be BRASH & IMPULSIVE , they’re far too WELCOMING & COURAGEOUS to be involved , right ? those who know them say they’re reminded of FLANNELS WRAPPED AROUND THE WAIST, THE CLICKING OF A CAMERA, A COMPUTER SCREEN ILLUMINATING A PITCH BLACK ROOM, THE “IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA” THEME, BAGPIPES PLAYING IN THE DISTANCE whenever they’re around . honestly , the DIGITAL MEDIA major should try to keep their head down . after the events of last semester , lockwood is out for blood . did you know that ZELDA is a member of GAMMA RHO ALPHA ? that might explain why their name is being brought up .
you’re an explosion , you’re dynamite playlist. pinterest. to listen as you read. like for a plotting dm on tumblr , react for a discord dm rocky lynch lovebot / hylia.#0329 on discord.
WOOOO I really can’t keep myself from holding only one muse can’t I. WELL. This is Zelda , a bit more of a happy-go-lucky muse compared to Sam !! She’s both her own character mixed with a few others I have - I love her dearly , so please please please feel free to come at me for plots !! <3 HERE WE GO :
HISTORY
Zelda’s backstory isn’t anything special - growing up in Scotland her parents had a nice marriage , she grew up an only child , always got good grades
But she always felt... average. She never was really anyone to anybody , so Zelda had a bit of a knack for wanting attention and trying to get her voice out there. So some took this as endearing , some took it as annoying.
In high school , she was lucky enough to be selected for an exchange student program in Salem , Massachusetts - and then she’d meet the FIRST person who would make her feel special in SAGA ( Sexuality And Gender Acceptance ) Club , a cheeky blonde boy named Cyrus who had a tendency to hide in the corner of the room and not talk to many people. And they’d date for about a year , up until Zelda would have to go back to Scotland.
They had to break up when Zelda would leave , but remained extremely close and communicating daily through digital connections.
ANYWAY , that little one year romance sort of gave her more confidence to use her voice and try and light up the room - since if she could do it for one person , she could do it for multiple people. That’s what gave her the idea to pursue a career in DIGITAL MEDIA - namely , film & video ( with digital art and photography on the side ) in the more comedic aspect. Screenplaying and the technicals behind sketch-comedy skits. Stand-up comedy , even though that was more performing.
Think like Saturday Night Live - and then think of all the technical stuff that goes into it besides the acting. The script-writing , camera angles , etc. Zelda just wanted to make people laugh.
Soooo… when she told her parents that would be what she wanted to do , her average home-life would turn sour CONSIDERING they didn’t want her to explore such risky career choices. An easier life would be to become a lawyer or a doctor - more stable. But that’s not what she wanted. So after a LENGTHY argument with her parents , Zelda would be thrown out of the house with only the money she saved ( thankfully , she’d always been the frugal one ) , and would call . . . her ex-boyfriend and his mother. Since even though they’d only been communicating digitally over the past two years , it still felt like home in Massachusetts.
Her ex’s mother would pay for a flight for her to go back to the United States , and after some time of adjusting , she’d get into Hollingsworth to pursue her career in Digital Media - staying there , but often traveling home ( being where her ex and his mom lived ) routinely.
Pledging to Gamma , her insistence for encouraging people to live their life to the fullest and readiness to include people in her free spirited antics would leave a great impression on the sorority - eventually even leading to her current position as its president.
CHARACTER / FACTS
So again !! Zelda is my trans female pansexual bby , 5’11 bc tall girls make the world go round and she is the LIVING EXAMPLE of the Halcyon label. She’s loud , carefree , optimistic - never really known to pass up an opportunity to have fun.
...that’s so basic of an intro to her personality BUT IN MY DEFENSE IT’S EARLY
BUT YEAH Zelda ?? Does not give a shit about anything. She holds no grudges towards anyone , waaaay too chill - but she flips from extremely chill and laid back to “HEY HEY LET’S GO DO THESE TEN THINGS” and it’s. Definitely a 360. But nobody’s ever seen her angry and it sort of makes people wonder if she even feels anger or if she has a secret dark side nobody knows about.
...She doesn’t. Zelda’s only habits when angry are that she’s short , to the point , and WILL call you out if you’ve done something wrong. But making her mad is extremely hard and she’ll only remotely get upset if you prove time and time after again to be a shitty person.
Which , can sort of lead her to get taken advantage of because of her chill nature - that’s how the previous issue with Gamma getting in trouble at one of their parties happened. Zelda got pissed. She knows she’s chill but she doesn’t think about how that could lead SOME people to thinking “oh I can do anything I want and she’ll be fine with it” because she doesn’t. Get angry about much.
ALSO THAT DOES MAKE HER A BIT NAIVE - just again. She’s easy to take advantage of because she believes the best in everyone and automatically assumes people will do the right thing as people. Doesn’t really understand why people will do things to hurt others and doesn’t really want to.
Also kind of jumpy like she’s a social person and definitely flips between lax and loud but it is SO easy to startle her.
AS FOR HER INTERESTS IN DIGITAL MEDIA - she is extremely talented with the entire Adobe Creative Suite , especially Premiere , Photoshop , and After Effects.
She has an Instagram dedicated to posting manips , edits , etc. she made in both PS & AE. You know those funky Insta edits you see all the time ?? Zelda makes those.
She ALSO does a lot of editing and promotion for Gamma - a lot of times they’re memey little videos or advertisements or skits that display how welcoming Gamma is , and they do a great job at leaving a good impression on possible recruits.
Her BIG thing though would be a little YouTube channel she runs where she often posts videos just around campus - think Billy On The Street , which is what she really wants to do with her digital media career.
“I’M RUNNING AROUND HOLLINGSWORTH WITH A PACK OF WILD LESBIANS”
“LET’S GO LESBIANS LET’S GO”
She either wants to do that - or mockumentaries to put on Youtube ( or even documentaries in a whole that she approaches with her extremely sunny demeanor on conspiracies or the like ). She’d also like to film her own show to put on TV , either something like reality comedy , a reality show spoof , or even something like It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia or The Office or Brooklyn 99. Comedy film is her passion.
Commentary videos are ALSO something she’s considered , much like iNabber or Strange AEons , but she thinks mockumentaries , skits , and her other work
Also that person who Photoshops heads on people’s bodies and makes memes for all the group chats she’s in
She really doesn’t take herself seriously often but frankly that’s just Gamma as a whole so it WORKS.
A good portion of Zelda’s existence is a meme tbh I honestly adore her
She has a LOT of tattoos that were designed by her ex-boyfriend since he was an art major and now is a tattoo artist in Salem - I’d point you in the direction of Hannah Pixie Snowdon’s body art as a reference , just Zelda isn’t nearly as covered as she is.
This would be the best reference I can think of rn , lots of pretty designs and some animals, maybe some symbols and references from stuff.
Olivia doesn’t have any tattoos but WE CAN CERTAINLY PRETEND
A lot of her spare money is made doing either graphics commissions or even photography from whoever needs her services !! The majority of her stuff has been done for cosplayers , budding models , budding actors and actresses , and even for other fraternities and sororities around campus. Zelda knows no rivalries when it comes to these things.
She’s also 100% that person who keeps around a polaroid camera so she can hang up pictures she takes she’s just That Person
Decorates the Gamma house with a lot of polaroids she’s taken and memey edits she’s done in Photoshop
INSIDE JOKES ARE HER THING
She also plays guitar and is fairly good at it but doesn’t have a band or anything rn bc she’s just someone who does it bc she wants to look cool ( and also bc the guitar’s a neato instrument but yeah she started it out just bc she wanted to play SOME kind of instrument at least )
,,,but she also knows how to play the bagpipes
and she owns a pair.
they’re in the gamma house. zelda plays them at meetings.
Also I can’t 100% guarantee she didn’t get her name from the Legend of Zelda series if y’all know me u know how much I adore that series so yeah
WANTED PLOTS / CONNECTIONS
GIVE ME A COMEDY SQUAD PLEEEEEEEEASE maybe even ppl she works to make a webseries or something with ?? give me people who work constantly just to make other people laugh
People she routinely takes photographs of !!
Whether they pay her or she uses as a muse for whatever
OTHER PPL FROM THE GREEK ROW THAT JUST DON’T… LIKE ZELDA FOR WHATEVER REASON
Maybe they think she’s too chill. Maybe they think she’s hiding something. Maybe they don’t like how she’s running Gamma but for whatever reason they just DON’T LIKE HER and I want enemies so fucking give me enemies
This is so general but more Gamma sisters would be lovely Zelda’s so eager to bring in more people to make their sorority feel like home
Give me crushes Zelda pines over !! Crushes that pine over Zelda !! Gimme that skinny love shit bc my god it gets me going !!
Hookup plots are also 100% acceptable bc again Zelda’s a carefree spirit and gives No Fucks
Also 100% down 4 cute romantic plots too - Zelda is ur regular poly pan babe w/ room in her heart for 12000 suns
it’s very on brand of me to place the romance/sex plots right smack in the middle as I’m thinking of what to put down
Okay when I was in high school we had majors and I was a Digital Art major and all the Visual Art majors had this bond with us for no reason so I’d really love some Vis. Art buddies that Zelda gets along with much like the bond she has with her ex-boyfriend now
OTHER PEOPLE TO DESIGN MORE TATTOOS FOR HER PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE one day she hopes to be a coloring book
I’D LOVE SOME UNLIKELY FRIENDS TOO JUST SOME GRUMPS ZELDA’S CONSTANTLY BOTHERING W/ HER SHIT
Memey group chat pls
THATS ALL I CAN THINK OF FOR NOW maybe i’ll do a more detailed / organized list soon but yeah !! Come at me !!!
#hworth:intro#* &. about / ☆ 𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐝𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧#* &. ooc / ☆ 𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐇𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐚#I got the worst headache @ work but we got this done at least#very on brand of me to namedrop ocs i'll never bring in here 2 include them somehow#but i'm so excited i love love love LOVE zelda so much and the last uni group i was in she was only an npc#i'm rly happy to write her in full : ' )
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dude your recent demon & angel kiribaku art reminds me a little bit of aziraphale and crowley from good omens!! like aziraphale would be angrier as baku obvs but still i thought of it and it made me happy lol
A lot of people have mentioned that in the tags/under the post and that makes me!!! super happy!!!! Good Omens is one of my fav books and Crowley one of my fav characters, so the comment feels nice! I wasn’t specifically thinking about them when drawing it, but possibly a bit I was influenced anyway!! I wonder if what made everyone think about them was Kiri’s sunglasses? It’s not noticeable but I did give him glowing eyes too after all haha
Anon said:Have you ever thought about how op a TodoBakuDeku fusion would be? (if they could stay together that is lol!)
Never thought of it tbh, but at this point I’m pretty sure with a lot of work on Baku’s part they’d be able to stick together long enough! He wouldn’t find it comfortable but they’d def be one of the strongest three-people-fusions in the class - not the strongest, tho, since they all have the same sort of straightforward offensive power when it comes to their quirks, I think I could find three people who’d make a stronger fusion... Baku Kiri and Momo, for example, would be even more impressive imho! Since all their quirks cover a different field, and their minds/personalities mesh well enough to have the right amount of planning and instinctive reaction/self-preservation and safety of others/pride and self-doubt/lawfulness and chaotic acting and so on. Even just as a team, without counting them as a fusion, I think they’d make one of the most balanced ones! Compared to that putting Todo Deku and Baku in the same place is just a recipe for disaster more often than not haha
Anon said:no, i move slow, I wanna stop time, I'll sit here til I find the,, inspiration to draw,,,,,,
LMAO it’s a song about art block after all, I feel every word in it a whole damn lot hahaha
Anon said:Art block or no art block, I love everything you come up with 💜
AW HECK ANON you’re so sweet!!! Thank you so much!!!!! ;O;
Anon said:Mixing thei hero names? So uuuh King Riot?
We still don’t know Baku’s hero name, so anything might be, really! It’s why I didn’t outright have Kiri mention any idea, I got no clue myself where he was going with it haha it’d be cool if his hero name were Ground Zero, because it’d mix well with Red Riot imho (Red Zero or Ground Riot or Red Ground, they all sound nice!) but what if Baku’s hero name ends up just being Katsuki, after all? How do you mix that with Red Riot? (the answer is Red Victory, or Akatsu!! from akai (red) + katsu !! ngl I’ve thought about this a lot lmao) anyway so many possibilities so little known facts!
Anon said:I love the details on Kiri and Baku's skin. Great job!!
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!
Anon said:!!!!!!!!!! fran oh my god your zine piece is so beautiful!!!!!!!
Sob thank youuu!!!! I’m glad you liked it!!!! ;O;
Anon said:i just got my zine and the art and writing was so lovely, i loved your comic at the end. an amazing way to end the zine♡
THANK YOU!!!! I’m jelly, I still haven’t gotten mine ;O; I hope the comic was easy to read even in printed form, I’ve been worried about that for months hahaha rip at least there’s the pdf
Anon said: i’m in love with your kiri bday art!!!! with the colorless art like that, are we allowed to color it? of course no posting it, but just for fun.
If you promise not to post it, I’m cool with it! Thank you for liking it enough to want to do that!!! Seriously tho don’t post it if you do
Anon said:Can you draw more kamisero? g u d q u a l i t y s h i p ma' dude.
Maybe? Currently it really isn’t between my top priorities but who knows
Anon said:FRANNNNN!!!! Your comic for the Take My Hand zine!!!! I'm gonna cry! It's so beautiful and the boys are so perfect! Your art is so amazing, I was so thrilled to see your piece. Not to mention the detail you put in. Their hands killed me! With Bakugou's palms and Kiri's arms! Ugh, I just can't, I love it so much.
I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THE HANDS it’s weird bc that one panel is probably my fav in the comic and I was so sure no one was gonna really notice it but!! So many people did!!!!! It makes me so happy oh man ;O;
Anon said:Hey coulda maybe make a traitor Kaminari comic?
Nope! No traitor arts here, sorry! SInce I don’t believe any of the theories to the point of finding them outright laughable, any art I could ever make about it would just come out looking either fake or ridiculous and no one wants to see that lmao
Anon said:your take my hand comic!!! it's so good!! thank you for doing the boys so well ;;;
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOUUUU!!!!!!!!
Anon said:I don't know if you remember, but a couple months ago I asked if it'd be okay for me to write something based on a few of your art pieces. Would that still be alright? Your art is gorgeous and makes my brain think and brings joy to me all the time ^^ would absolutely link to the art and credit you. that's not even a question :)
That still depends on which art you’re specifically talking about! And thank you so much for the compliment!!
Anon said:I don’t know if you read fan fiction, but I have one to suggest to you! It’s called, “It’s Obvious When You Lie”. Only three chapters are out so far, but it’s really good!
I’ll add it to my marked for later list then!! Thank you so much for the rec, I don’t easily try out ongoing fics so this was very nice of u!!!
Anon said:In the body switch AU Todoroki sees how fucked up Midoriya feels around Bakugou('s body?) and realizes wow fuck this guy has traumatized my bf. I wonder what I can do to fuck w/ him so the day before they switch back (So Bakugou can't do much in retaliation) he takes Bakugou's body and does the stupidest bullshit ever as revenge
HECK anon sorry but nothing like this would happen ever as long as I’m the one writing the AU! For three main reasons! One, I don’t think Deku is traumatized at all! His relationship with Baku at the moment is actually pretty damn neat and on equal footing, you go you two, growing so much!! Two, Baku and Todo are friends!!! And Todo would never be a dick to Baku instead of just talking to him, if he had a problem with him!! Three, even if one and two weren’t true, Deku has no need for knights in shining armor fighting his battles for him!! He’s a strong independent boy and if he hasn’t fought Baku over this it’s probs cause he doesn’t want anyone to fight him over it!!! Also in this specific AU Todo and Deku aren’t dating, so the scenario doesn’t work for me! Sorry!
Anon said:Have you ever thought about krbk wedding?
I have! And I’ve talked about it on here a few times too! Lately I’ve been thinking about it again tho, from a designs point of view, because!! There’s that very neat post going around tumblr about that wedding photos in which one of the two grooms has a white tux with a cape, and I’ve been thinking about a variation of it for Kirishima’s wedding suit :0 something red instead of white, but generally similar! It’s a lot of effort to draw it so I still haven’t, but yeh!!
Anon said:Hello! I read this fic about your cat comics and the author said to send you some love in their end notes so here is some well-deserved love: your art is beautiful! It's why I became interested in BakuShima and I would not have loved these characters as much if it weren't for you. You also seem to be a very nice person, your mind is beautiful and I am glad you exist
G O DS this is such a nice ask!!!! thank you so so much!!!! ;O;
Anon said:Non chiedo una risposta a questo messaggio, anzi. Volevo solo dirti che trovo la tua arte FANTASTICA, e non sai quanto i tuoi comic e tutto il tuo lavoro mi ha strappato più di un sorriso in brutti momenti. Sapere che sei italiana mi ha fatto totalmente impazzire. Continua così, hai del talento vero. E grazie!
NUHHHH GRAZIE A TE PER ESSERE COSI’ GENTILE OMFG !!!!!!!!!! ;A;
Anon said:Okay okay okay! I adore your art! Could you maybe... draw some KiriBaku fantasy? If it’s not too much to ask! It can be as simple as can be! Your art is just really cute!
Yes I can and yes I will!!! Definitely and in the near future, did you know one of the app games JUST revealed a fantasy wolf Baku as a special halloween chara?? It’s just fantasy Baku with wolf ears and tail, but he’s adorable and I’ve been wanting to draw him since I saw him this morning ;O; so cute!
Anon said:Pssst. Singer Baku, Guitarist Kami, and Drummer Kiri. A good hc if I do say so myself.
It IS a great thought!! Drummer Kiri and Singer Baku have always been a weakness of mine too, so heck!! What a good image! If we put Jirou on bass and vocals too and sero on keyboard and mina on guitar, you make my fav band right then and there hahaha
Anon said:I'm not in the BNHA fandom at the moment but your art still continues to give me the warm fuzzies
GODS ISN’T THIS A NICE ASK!! I’m happy I can make you enjoy even characters you’re not specifically into! Thank you so much for sticking around!!!! ;O;
Anon said:i just got into bnha and fell in love with your art, started going through your sketch tag, and then realize that youre the person who made a bunch of haikyuu comics i loved a while ago so im! very glad to rediscover your stuff!!
HOLY GODS THAT’S NEAT!!! Welcome back!!!! ;O;
Anon said:I love it when you draw kiri with his hair down 💕💕💕 so good, so pure 💕💕💕💕
Oh boy thank you!! ;O; he’s so much easier to draw with his hair spiked for me, knowing people like the way I draw his hair when down means a whole damn lot!!
Anon said:Hello! First I love your account and artwork! Second will you ever be drawing Mako and Taiyou again? They are so adorable! Also Bakugou and Kirishima seems like amazing dad's!
Thank you!!! And yes I will! I have another ask around here asking about them, so maybe soon! Just gotta find the right idea to draw, I got a bunch but they’re all way too long for my curret attenton span level sadly hahaha rip
Anon said:lmaaaaooo my boi kaminari be having an emotional awakening
Kaminari is like, he’s always somewhere subconsciously known that Baku’s objectively pretty, but since he knows him so well and he’s always around him and most of the times they’re bickering and making fun of each other he’s never actually realized, so now he’s like oh, NOW I see it hahaha
Anon said:hi u probably get this enough but I wanted to give u all my appreciation for ur art thank u for sharing it with us I love everything u post ♡♡♡
THANK YOU!!!! It might be greedy of me but this sorta asks are never enough for me, so seriously thank you for taking your time to drop by and be so nice!!!
Anon said:Could you please draw more of the body swap au? Or what if a different pair of students were to switch?
I’m not gonna draw any other switch with other students, because before settling on Baku and Todo I went through a lot of possibilities and came to the conclusion that nothing would be as funny as Baku and Todo switched are (or at least nothing Horikoshi hasn’t already done himself lmao) so there’s that. I might draw more of them switched, but to be honest with you the only idea with that concept I have right now is Bakugou forgetting he’s suddenly taller and continuously walking into things around the dorms, so there’s that as well hahaha
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4, 9, 25!
omg.. these are all questions when looking through it i was like. i have a lot of Thoughts abt those ones fdkgjhdfkg. thank you angel!!! also please don’t feel obligated to read All This
i’m kinda embarrassed i wrote this much but i’m not good at editing things down after the fact
4. do you like your name? is there another name you think would fit you better?
i do! chiara is my birthname and at times through my life i’ve wished for a more androgynous/masculine name but i guess like. my name and its pronunciation and spelling and what it meant to my mom in naming me has been consistent throughout my life i don’t feel like myself without that. if i grew up in italy i’d probably feel differently though bc at least in the north its become like . italian “maddie” lol i get so confused when i go there bc all of a sudden i’ll be hearing my name everywhere
chiaroscura i came up with as a melodramatic kid after i got excited about reading the tale of despereaux that the rat character chiaroscuro had a name so similar to mine and i thought it was cool he shortened it to roscuro. i liked the art style too and it helped people know how to pronounce my name sometimes. no one irl really called me roscura but i’ve been going by it online in addition to chiara since i was a tween
i’ve tried to go by other names throughout my life like cj and arie (pronounced in 3 syllables ah-ree-ay) and rio but none of them really stuck outside of very specific contexts even if i wanted something more androgynous i think i’m just ingrained with this. i’ve thought about having it be chiaroscuro instead but chiaro for short just seems dumb. idk. and even if roscuro sounds fine roscura isnt just Me me its also a name i really associate with like uhhhh.. some dissociative alter stuff so i wouldnt want to take that away from her idk
i was sure when i was younger i’d want to change my middle and last name. my middle name is anne lol so thats very common and i thought it was boring and didnt feel like Me and too feminine etc but in the past couple years with my nana (dads mom) dying and her name was ann and then also my grandma (moms mom) is annette and my moms own middle name is anne i guess even if i dont like it without context i can keep it for history
similarly with my last name. its anglicized swedish and i have no connection to that part of my family and when i was having a really difficult time with my dad i didn’t want it but now that hes died and our relationship got better towards the end i’m more okay with it.
not sure what i’ll do if i ever get married. also have considered changing my name if i ever have trouble with how fucking stupid i’ve been with being openly a communist/disabled/gay/etc online with my full name since i was 11 lol but i doubt that
9. are you an artist?
lol. i’m not sure anymore tbh :( i at least drew stuff almost every day of my life up until like a bit over a year ago now and even if i didn’t think i was any “good” compared to my peers in like . high school AP art who went on to art school and stuff it was a big part of my identity but i let myself fall out of it even when i’d never let depression do that before and just didn’t get that momentum again. i stress about it almost every day since then i keep saying i’m Finally getting back into it but beyond like . art therapy when i was in a php program or the couple sculpture classes i took before i had to drop out of even part time classes and then a few sketches i still haven’t really provably picked things up again. and its not just digital art or cartooning its also my other creative passions like making clothing and cosplay and making stories i feel like a shell of a person without it i’m tired of saying i’ll Soon get back into it. got as far as sketching something for an actual traditional art thing last week so maybe if i finish that i can prove to myself again. i think i have trouble and why i stopped is i wasn’t doing art because i enjoyed the process anymore, i wanted the final product to be good and got discouraged and fell into a grating routine to make art. i need to learn how to enjoy that process again (or just? let myself? idk) i really need to learn that with making comics because i don’t have much proof at all that i can make things beyond like. 6 pages long. and of course with webcomics you’re constantly learning and growing in developing them thats part of the medium. i want to be able to call myself an artist again even if its hard to see that right now. i almost started drawing before i started answering this right now. i hate that i keep pushing it off. i’ve definitely said this before, but it has to be soon
25. could you live as a hermit?
i think this past 9 months has been the closest i’ve ever been to a hermit and its made me very confident that i absolutely could not lmao. i’m so sick of this i need to see proof of life beyond this place and with irl interaction with loved ones beyond my mom on a regular basis stagnating here for even a few months longer is just too much i don’t even feel like a real person anymore and thats concerning on multiple levels lol. its wild to me i even got to this point and kind of ironic that i feel the most isolated i’ve ever felt once i moved to one of the biggest cities in this country. right now i’m sustaining myself by chasing hope of a way out with the start of maybe actual concrete steps towards just . seeing people i love again irl. but honestly even that is freaking me out because realistically it might take longer to get out of this than i’d like to and i really can’t handle being in this situation more than a few months more.
also just in a general sense i think humans need to collaborate and provide for each other. individualist fantasies of just providing for oneself and not having to care for others both jsut . tend to not actually be accurate and can be pretty reactionary. so many people are so isolated in many ways under capitalism and that makes divide and conquer easier but to ensure a future where that won’t be the case we need to build community/dual power/solidarity/etc etc. i feel a bit guilty i’m not putting my actions where my mouth is with that as an individual right now but i guess it makes sense how i got here when so much is structurally at play. its weird intellectualizing that balance sometimes.
i’m so sorry this turned into some fucking . vent tumblr therapy session jesus christ fdgkjhd
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Hey there!! Tbh, idk if you actually posted it or if I hallucinated it since I can no longer find it on your blog (and if I did hallucinate it, please ignore this, lol) but I REALLY loved the art you drew of your OC!!! They look so cool!!! I really liked the more “creature/monster” elements??? And the way you draw him really conveys his personality super well??? And that facial expression they had was *_* (Also they’re HOT ngl........) I’d really love to hear more about them!! :D
YEAH! I did post it, but I deleted it bc I didn’t want WIPs to clog up my art tag. Plus, I’m a bit more insecure about my OC art than regular art and that’s really saying something ! But I’ll def post him again for you💕
His name is Friday! He’s actually a were-naga, so his usually form is human. Recently graduated from college as a criminal justice major ? I honestly don’t remember, he wanted to do something with forensics. Friday was desperate to find a job, mostly to pay off his college debt and move out of his parent’s home.
Friday’s story does have supernatural creatures, but they live in hiding or amongst humans. There’s a high table of grand wizards that assures that secret is kept either placing magic users to certain locations to watch over creatures n w/e. One wizard, Thomas, reached out to Friday to become a detective/investigator to check/sometimes “solves” cases w/anomalies. Despite it being hella sketchy, Friday was strapped for cash and desperate for a job so he took it. He’s an extremely busy body so if it’s not one thing it’s another.
As a human, Friday is responsible, stubborn, and tries to do everything by himself bc he doesn’t want to burden people thus he creates a huge ass distance with people. Friday does suffers from daddy issues + older sibling syndrome where he grew up way too fast to help the parent he did end up staying with. Friday puts a front if it means the person he cares about it is happy and safe. Otherwise, Friday is humorous and dramatic. Here’s a bust of him as a human
As a naga, he’s vicious and feral. Friday has no control in that state nor can he even get to that on will. It’s triggered when he’s on the verge of dying or that “state” feels threaten. Too be honest, he isn’t too sure himself just bc Nagas were hunted to near extinction for their scales + skin for potions n what’s not so there isn’t any text to reflect on. Friday, as a human, gets cold extremely and is venomous? Toxic? Poisonous? He can kill ya with a bite if he wanted to. Also, don’t get a blood transfusion from him bc his blood is poisonous as well!
Here’s some abandon sketches I have of him with two other ocs of mine! Friday as a naga is a BIG BOY.
ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR NICE MESSAGEEEE.. IM IN TEARS, I NEVER GET MESSAGES ABOUT MY OCS..
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alright here. yeah yeah u know who it is...
&&. announcing her grace, ( freja esmée du bellay ), the ( 38 ) year old ( duchess ) of ( guyenne ). she is often confused with ( lily aldridge ). some say that she is ( phlegmatic and sly ), but she is actually ( ardent and purposeful ). ( OOC: ashley )
tw: mentions of depression
are yall ready. cause i’m ready
this is freja. her intro is all over the place because i just was kinda typing my sporadic thoughts. there’s a bunch of random info lol
she’s the daughter of vera bernadotte’s sister- ingrid bernadotte and the duke of guyenne- jean-pierre du bellay. (i’m realizing now, did vera keep her last name? let’s assume she did. and uh i made these names up. they can be changed)
she grew up in france, alternated holidays in sweden.
so sorry swedes, she definitely considers herself french before swedish. blame arnauld.
but she adores her swedish cousins. she likes to be the wise, cool aunt figure. gives them advice, lets astrid stay at her place, won’t snitch if they’re up to no good
she and arnauld grew up together, their fathers were friends, it was sort of like that relationship where it was a running joke that they’d be married so the fathers could be in-laws. never serious of course, but it did spawn a friendship.
freja was/is always so phlegmatic about everything she could never figure out exactly what she was passionate about. and she really didn’t care to either.
she’s always done her own thing bc of her big head. she’s always been kind of independent and all.
so freja had many major changes, started with poli sci because that’s what everyone else was doing, then she had a stint as a pre-med. didn’t last long. she moved on to psychology, stuck around for awhile. finally, she graduated with a history and art history dual degree
anyways, after college her father started to prep her for her job as the duchess. that’s when things get sketch. her father was one of the first noblemen that arnauld approached to get the crown on his head. arnauld wanted allies, and who would be more loyal than freja?
arnauld wanted freja to be ready to take power when he did, and from the years she was out of college until she took up the duchy, they worked closely together so arnauld’s plans would happen.
so that’s what happened- at the ripe age of 30 (when arnauld took the crown) freja was officially the duchess, and arnauld’s right hand woman.
arnauld does all the brainstorming, freja just wraps it up and puts a bow on it.
her father stepped down and retired, and he and her mother prob moved to some cute cottage in sweden and are living their best lives.
she’s convinced that arnauld’s plans will do france and the world good, and she played an instrumental part in shaping the courts along with arnauld.
and that sums up her involvement with arnauld, now simultaneously she also has a personal life, you know?
she got married when she was 32 to some random (prob) rich generational wealth type guy. she settled bc she was like damn i kind of want a family. she’s terrified of committing bc she loves her independence so much, and she thinks the way to maintain that is to marry a guy thats more attached to her than she is to him. is she in love? no. is she content? yes.
i was thinking of making her husband a wc but we’ll see. i don’t think it’s necessary tbh
she has a 4 y/o daughter (eloise) and a 2 y/o son (tobias).
she suffered with postpartum depression following the birth of eloise. she never wanted to hold her, she had anxiety over everything she did with the baby. was she feeding it right, bathing it right, swaddling it right, etc. and often she just handed it off to the nanny to take care of. she almost immediately went back to work, she didn’t feel the need to stay home. it wasn’t until six months later that she realized the signs. she went on medication to treat it, and eventually got better. but she had to get off medication to have her son.
she fears developing symptoms again, so she’s pretty protective of her kids
she’s like a saint around her kids. but around others she’s super impatient and demanding. do as i say not as i do, right?
in general she’s very two-faced... she’s gemini after all. so personality? she has all of them. the best way i can describe her is like she’s like the vixen but all grown up and practical now
woah this got long, srry
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